


Faults and Falling

by Slothquisitor



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-01-16 15:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slothquisitor/pseuds/Slothquisitor
Summary: Set in @Lechatrouge673's Songs Forgotten and Remembered Modern AU. After the events of Songs, Cullen moves to South Reach and opens a clinic for ex-SFU soldiers. Still trying to sort out his life post-divorce, Cullen isn't sure what to make of Mara Lavellan when he meets her one morning on his way to work.





	1. Part One

Cullen Rutherford wished that South Reach felt more like home. For so long home had been Denerim - Kirkwall before that - and Honnleath even before that. South Reach had always been a place of duty to visit, but not associated with any sort of permanence. He’d needed a clean slate, a fresh start. The city that his siblings called home seemed good as any. 

Staying in Denerim hadn’t felt like an option. After the dissolution of his marriage it had been altogether too hard. He and Thea had shared so many of the same friends - as one does when they build a life together - and he didn’t blame her, but it had been too much to weather their concerned gazes and earnest questions. 

Thea had guessed the reason for his move, and she’d felt responsible. He reminded her that they had talked about this. They had entered their separation and divorce with the same honesty they’d had in their relationship, and a love for each other too. He wasn’t sure if that had made it easier or more difficult. It didn’t matter that they’d agreed that this was the right move for both of them, that though they’d loved each other they hadn’t been perfect for each other. Thea’s heart had never been fully his, and though he loved her, it never felt like quite enough for him either. It was the ease that Cat and Nate had that finally convinced him that he and Thea weren’t right for each other. Even knowing that, it hadn’t made it any easier to dismantle their life together. 

They had made a promise to each other to find happiness in whatever form that took. He’d questioned if it was the right decision the entire drive to South Reach. That maybe he should have fought harder. That maybe they could have made things work. But it was never that things hadn’t worked. They had been happy. It was just that they both deserved so much more than what they had with each other. Cullen talked to Nate and Cassandra regularly, and though he never asked, they provided enough information for him to know Thea was doing well. 

He could have called her. Maker knew he had reached for his phone to call or text her out of habit one too many times in the last few months. He was still reorienting himself with being alone, with being a single person and not part of a unit. 

His sisters, Mia and Rosalie, had been the most unhelpful, sidestepping so carefully around the subject that he was never able to quite forget in their presence, to just be with them. His brother, Branson, understood. Henry’s mother had taken off when Henry was just a baby, and Branson knew what it was to mourn what might have been. Cullen was glad to be closer to his family, but with his marriage over and Solona over five years dead, sometimes he worried that his happiest days were behind him. 

Mia had been carefully trying to set him up with a woman she knew. “She’s a divorcee too,” Mia had added. Divorcee - the word felt somehow like failure, something he knew better than to think. Cullen Rutherford, divorcee. And now, non-profit owner to add to the list of titles he’d picked up since leaving Denerim. 

Elevate was his life now, the non-profit he’d started to help other ex-Special Force Unit soldiers. Thea had gifted him the property and invested, probably thinking he’d tear down the old house on the small offshoot street from South Reach’s quiet Main Street, but he’d kept it. He liked its character, and wanted to build someplace that felt like coming home rather than something that felt too much like an institution. He’d renovated the space to make it open and modern. He’d taken to calling it the Elevate House, and it was a place of healing and change, but most importantly, hope. It was still new, but between federal grants and donors he had enough money to make sure services were free, and there was enough space there that the patients had rooms to stay in if they had need of them. 

He’d never been passionate about his job at Seawolf & Steed the way he was about Elevate. It was something he had always dreamed of doing, and he had no reason to complain about where his life had taken him. It just hadn’t gone the exact way he believed it would. 

Cullen was trying to create the new normal, which was why he was driving to Juice N Java just before seven a.m. Cullen hadn’t slept the night before, not much anyway. He decided against making coffee at home, and thought he’d pick himself up a latte before getting to work. It was just his luck that the drive-thru line was ridiculously long, and so he parked and decided to walk in. 

Just the smell of the shop made him feel more awake. Blenders were running in the back as a barista made a smoothie from their fresh pressed juice, and he could smell the cinnamon rolls the second he walked in the door. He’d never appreciated how good he’d had it in Denerim with coffee shops until he tried several bad ones in South Reach. Juice N Java had been his last ditch attempt, and he hadn’t been disappointed. 

He put in his order and then joined a small, blonde, elven woman in waiting at the side counter while trying not to pick at his cinnamon roll. Their orders came out together, and Cullen made sure that he picked up the cup that had a ‘C’ and other unidentifiable letters following it. He hadn’t yet been able to take a sip of his drink when he heard someone speak behind him. 

“Uh, excuse me,” the voice said. 

He turned to find the elven woman standing behind him, holding her coffee cup out away from her. “I am so sorry to bother you, but is your drink right? Mine’s not and ours came out at the same time, so I wondered if maybe they’d accidentally swapped them.” 

“Oh, I’m not sure,” he replied, bringing his cup to his lips. What he tasted was certainly not his latte, but an americano with enough kick to raise the dead. 

The answer must have been written all over his face because the woman laughed, and they swapped cups. “I could have bugged the baristas, but the line has gotten long and I’ve got to get to work.”

Cullen smiled. “No worries. Do I need to get you a new lid?”

“You don’t have any infectious diseases I should know about, do you?” she asked around a grin. 

“Are you asking me where my mouth has been?” The words were out of his mouth before he realized what it implied. 

She seemed to fight a smile. “My goodness, we don’t even know each other’s names.”

“I’m Cullen,” he replied. 

“Mara. Nice to meet you,” she said. She was pretty, hair falling just lower than her shoulders and looking up at him with big green eyes. He was a solid head taller than her, and she was dressed like she worked in some office building, wearing wide leg trousers and a floral blouse.

“I was going to grab a table if you’d like to join me?” Cullen asked. There were more people moving around to the pick-up counter. It was impulsive, and probably stupid, but something about her made him want to sit at a table with her in the coffee shop. 

She looked genuinely sorry as her thumb pointed over her shoulder toward the parking lot. “I wish I could; I’ve got an IEP meeting to get to.” 

He didn’t know what an IEP meeting was, but he nodded and tried to understand the disappointment pooling in his chest. “No problem.”

Mara’s words poured out in one breath. “Another time maybe, not at seven a.m.?”

He fumbled to get into his pocket and produce one of the business cards he’d taken to carrying around with him. “My cell’s on the card.” 

She took it and read it aloud. “Cullen Rutherford, Elevate. That like a marketing firm or something? It sounds like a marketing firm.”

He chuckled, but wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’m not in marketing.” 

“Well, you’ve got your website here, so I’ll just look you up when I get to the school.” Mara smiled. 

“That’s not fair, I don’t even know your full name to look you up,” he teased, surprised at the ease of their back and forth. 

“Mara Lavellan, and googling me will only get you to my class website. Which might be good if you want to learn about the Transcendentalists and The Great Gatsby.” Then she hastily added, “I teach English at the high school.”

Cullen couldn’t help but smile. “That’s very cool.”

She shook her head. “Not when you’re running late to a meeting. I’ve got to go, but it was nice to meet you, Rutherford. Really.”

“You too,” he said as he watched her rush out the door. She had tossed him one last smile as she left, and he felt a sort of giddiness he thought he’d long outgrown. 

***

Mara Lavellan was running late. Her shoes clicked against the sidewalk as she rushed in the glass double doors as much to be on time as to get out of the chilly canyon wind. She entered the large commons of South Reach High School that was bright, but still empty that early in the morning. A large walkway stretched out above her, joining the stairs and the hallway by the library. There were posters hanging from the railings, some announcing the upcoming dance and others full of school spirit with exclamations of “Go Tigers!”. Mara crossed the area to the glass windowed main office, empty except for Elaine who sat at the front desk. 

“Lisa is in the large conference room,” she said before answering the ringing phone. 

Mara gave her a smile in thanks and then rounded the corner, walking past the closed doors of the administrators before bracing herself to walk into the conference room. She expected the parents were already there for the individualized education plan meeting, and that Lisa had gotten started without her. When she opened the door, she realized she’d been wrong. The table was bare, as were the dark swivel chairs scattered around it. Lisa stood next to a small counter in the back, ear to the phone and looking as tired as Mara felt. 

“Hi Mrs. Hall, this is Lisa Pierce from SRHS, we’re just reminding you of our IEP meeting for Josh this morning. Give me a call back at this number as soon as you get this message.” Lisa set the receiver down. 

Mara stopped and let the stress of rushing here ooze slowly away. “They’re late.”

Lisa nodded. “As are you.”

“I know, I got caught at the coffee shop.” Mara checked her phone; she was only five minutes late, but it might well have been an hour for all the guilt and stress she felt about it. 

“What held you up?” Lisa asked as she moved around the table to take a seat, setting down the manila folder full of student paperwork in front of her. Lisa was the English department head and the special education coordinator. It was a lot to do, but not unheard of in a school as small as SRHS. Besides, Lisa was organized enough to handle both. Mara often joked she was her work mom, and it’d been a running joke long enough that Lisa even joined in. Her brown hair was perfectly coiffed, her clothes as fresh and bright as always. 

Mara took a seat beside her. “They traded my coffee with this guy’s, and they were crazy busy so we just swapped and got talking for a minute. He gave me his card.”

She sipped at her coffee, appreciating the jolt of wakefulness it brought with it. She’d been at the school the day before at six a.m. for newspaper layout, and she had not quite recovered. And then she’d been out of coffee because of course she was. By the Creators, she needed to go grocery shopping. 

“Was he cute?” Lisa asked. 

Cullen Rutherford had been very handsome. He was tall, and the scar that bisected his lip had somehow made him more attractive. He’d also seemed nice which meant that he was too good to be true. Nice, good-looking guys didn’t just run into you at the coffee house on a Thursday morning. She pulled her laptop out from her bag and his card from her pocket. “Let’s see.”

She pulled a browser open and followed the URL on the card to the website. The website pulled up, crisp and clean and with beautiful typography. The background was a charming house, with Elevate in the upper left corner and a clean white script reading ‘Ex-Special Forces and Lyrium Addict Resource Center’. She scrolled lower, to find the photo of the house replaced with a white background and smaller photos detailing the mission statement of Elevate. Whoever designed this website knew what they were doing; it was beautiful. She clicked on the Our Story tab, and there Cullen was smiling out at her from her screen, a short blurb next to his picture. 

“That’s him,” Mara said. She’d read him all wrong. He wasn’t some asshole marketing guy, or even one of the software engineers at one of those newfangled companies that had decided to make their home in the quiet valley of South Reach. He ran a non-profit, one that was quite personal from what she gathered skimming the blurb next to his picture. 

Lisa craned over her shoulder. “Oh, he is cute. What’s this website?” Lisa picked up her reading glasses from the table, and perched them on her nose as she tried to read the info. 

“It’s a resource center for soldiers and lyrium addicts,” Mara replied. Yeah, this guy was way too good to be true. 

“Well, I would have been late too,” Lisa said, pulling her glasses back off. 

She wouldn’t have. Her husband had been in slow decline following an ALS diagnosis, but she had never once been late in all the time Mara had known her. 

“He seemed nice,” Mara shrugged and shut her laptop. It had been nice to be noticed, and have him give her his card, but it wasn’t going to amount to anything. This morning would be carefully laid away like any other. People didn’t meet in coffee shops and have it turn into anything. That was out of a cheesy romance novel, not real life. And Mara Lavellan wasn’t one to get caught up in things that were never going to be. Creators knew she’d learned that lesson. 

“I think we’ll give them another five minutes and then call it,” Lisa sighed. 

Mara nodded. “If they need to reschedule today, I’ll be here all afternoon.” Though she wished that weren’t true. She was probably going to be there far past the afternoon. It was deadline day, and she had a newspaper to get off to the printers. She sipped her coffee and tried not to feel tired about a day that hard hardly even begun. 

She reviewed her lesson plans as she sat with Lisa, who made a quick circuit out of the conference room and into the lobby twice more before finally deciding the parents weren’t showing up. Mara hurried upstairs to her classroom, only to find a small gaggle of students pacing awkwardly outside it. They all looked vaguely stressed, and then Mara realized narrative papers were due today. Because of course she’d put a paper due on the same day she had a newspaper deadline. She was a glutton for punishment. 

She unlocked her door and repeated the same iteration of “Deep breaths, you can turn your paper in by 2:45 and have it be on time” at least four times while trying to get her laptop set-up and her board prepared. The bell sounded far too soon, and then she didn’t stop for much more than a few bites of food before the bell rang at 2:15. 

Her classroom was still full of students though. Each one of the computers that sat at the back of her room was occupied. There was music playing from one of the computers, and there were leftover doughnuts and pastries from their early morning the day before languishing on one of the desks. There wasn’t much for her to do at the moment - not until final submission anyway - so she was at her desk trying to begin grading essays. 

Then Jamie walked in. Jamie was easily her best friend, and her main ally in the English department. He was a hipster through and through, right down to the floral tie he was wearing that day. She owed her sanity to him in more ways than one in the last two years at SRHS. His friendship was something she was immensely grateful for. 

“So this looks exciting,” Jamie said as he sat down at the desk nearest to her. He was being sarcastic of course, as if he didn’t his own hands in a one too many of the school’s pies too. 

She shrugged. “Final layout.”

“Fun.” He drew the word out over two syllables. “How’s your day been?”

She laughed. “Long. I had an IEP, which I was late to, but the parents didn’t show up anyway. Which sucked because there was this guy, and I could have talked to him for another minute. And now layout and essays because I suck at planning my life. Want to help grade them? I have plenty.”

“Wait. You met a guy?” Jamie asked, looking surprised enough she should be offended. Teaching was not exactly conducive to dating, and not everyone was lucky enough to be married to another teacher. Jamie never seemed to understand the rarity of what he had with Olivia. 

She rolled her eyes. “They swapped our coffee at Juice N Java this morning. It’s not a big deal, he’s probably forgotten all about it.”

“Okay, so we’ll come back to the fact you went to JNJ and didn’t bring me anything in a minute. Did you get his number?” 

“He gave me his card,” Mara explained. 

Jamie grinned dark hair gleaming as he cocked his head. “His card, huh? How formal. You gonna get in touch?”

“No?”

Jamie’s eyes widened. “Why the hell not? Was he not good looking?”

Mara wasn’t sure what she really wanted to do. “It’s just silly. We talked for two minutes.”

“Yeah, and you could grab dinner or a movie for one night. You don’t have to marry the guy just get out and live a little.” Jamie gave her a smug look she wanted to deck him for. 

She pulled out her phone. “What do I even say?”

“Hello seems to work pretty well for most people.”

She opened her messages. “Fine, I’ll say hello.”

Jamie jumped up. “No! Not right now! There are rules to this. You’ve got to wait at least a day. Don’t seem too eager.”

Mara scowled. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. He’ll forget all about me by tomorrow.”

“It’s true Ms. L,” one of her students, Jade, chimed in. “Make him work for it.”

Jamie grinned. “See! But you have to text him.”

She put her phone down. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

But a few hours later, after the paper was submitted and she was alone she stared at his card. She imagined another evening eating dinner in front of the t.v. show she was streaming, and she made up her mind. 

_ M: So you’ve got a pretty fancy website. I really need to give major kudos to whoever chose that typeface.  _

_ Oh, this is Mara btw. _

***

For Cullen, no two days at Elevate House were the exact same. There were small things that had become routine, but mostly every day was different. That morning he’d participated in a Therapy Circle, and then it was Thursday so that meant there was Lunch with Linda happening. Linda was one of their counselors and held impromptu group sessions on Thursdays at lunch time, usually so those who worked could break away once a week for lunch if nothing else. Sometimes a listening ear was all they needed to help them stay on track. Their rooms upstairs were reserved for private or family appointments, but downstairs, the big open rooms were rarely empty. 

He’d been lucky to find the old Victorian era house that sat on a corner like it was waiting just for him. It had so much character too, right down to the curved windows and wooden columns. When he planned the renovation of the house, it was like a metaphor for everything he was trying to do. He wanted to keep the house as it was, but make it so much better. They’d placed a sign right by the front door that read ‘Welcome home’, and South Reach didn’t feel like home, but Elevate House was close. The wood molding was original to the house, beautifully intricate, like the gingerbread-cut wood trim framing the stairs. It had been in major disrepair when he found it, all maroon and green walls, but the bones had been there, and they’d tried to preserve and restore as much of it as they could. 

His sister, Rosalie, was volunteering at the front desk that afternoon, answering calls and welcoming those who came in the door. Cullen’s office wasn’t far from the front desk, and he often had his door open trying to make sure he greeted anyone new. He wasn’t exactly sure that his greeting folks made any amount of difference, but it felt important. That was also why he participated in the group therapy so much too. It allowed him to get to know the men and women coming to Elevate, and their families too. 

They did their best to provide resources to respond to issues that those coming to Elevate House might encounter. They don’t have a ride? Cullen had a list of volunteers willing to pick them up and bring them there. Cullen had done it himself on several occasions. Can’t find a babysitter for the kids? All their group classes were family friendly with enough volunteers that were willing to watch the kids. He knew from experience that making sure the support system of each of these people was too crucial to their success to not include them. His own family had spent a lot of time at Elevate House, and he’d seen enough changes in them that he knew what they were doing was right. 

All of that required no small amount of organization, and that was exactly what Cullen was working on in his office. Coordinating volunteer schedules, and making sure that their counselors weren’t being overbooked. He was lucky that he’d had enough money to offer competitive salaries to their professionals, and he had five full time people working with him. Even luckier still that all of them were just as passionate about Elevate’s success as he was. Especially Delrin Barris, who he’d known years ago and who had also gotten clean and then a counseling degree with timing that could only have worked out under the Maker’s hand. 

Cullen’s phone vibrated on the desk, and he picked it up, expecting it to be Bran or Mia. He hadn’t expected to see an unfamiliar number pop up or the words:  _ So you’ve got a pretty fancy website. I really need to give major kudos to whoever chose that typeface. Oh, this is Mara btw. _

He’d just managed to stop thinking about this morning, and after analyzing and overanalyzing the few minutes he’d had with the woman in the coffee shop, he was sure he’d made a fool of himself. He didn’t even know if she was single, or interested in men! And then he’d handed her his card. He’d resolved never to go into Juice N Java again, and that at least she hadn’t given him her number so the ball wasn’t in his court. 

And then she’d texted him. She had  _ texted him. _ Maker’s breath. That giddy feeling was back accompanied by the pounding of his heart as he read and reread her text at least half a dozen times before starting and stopping on several replies. There was a rushing in his ears when he finally hit send. 

_ C: Am I getting this right, you’re texting me because of fonts? _

He tried to ignore the thundering of his heart as he turned back to his computer, and he clicked around schedules for a moment without actually doing a single thing. When his phone vibrated again, he scrambled to pick it up. Relief barrelling through him when he saw it was her. 

_ M: What can I say? Good typography is my thing.  _

_ C: I can hardly take credit. My friend Dorian designed it all. I merely told him it looked good.  _

He wondered if she was feeling just as nervous as he was, hitting send each time. If there was also a peculiar sort of shimmering feeling in her chest as his name popped up on her phone. 

_ M: Well, you can tell him that his design made my typophile heart happy.  _

_ C: I will. Fonts are that important to you?  _

_ M: I am the adviser for the high school newspaper, it’s a very distinguished publication. All twenty students who actually read it expect a certain level of finesse. _

Cullen couldn’t help but laugh, and then he dearly wanted to make her laugh too. 

_ C: So you use comic sans regularly then?  _

Her response was immediate. 

_ M: That’s it Rutherford, now we can’t be friends. _

_ C: Well, we had a good run. A few minutes in a coffee shop and a handful of texts.  _

_ M: Lifechanging I’m sure, this better make it in your memoir.  _

_ C: And the entire thing will be in comic sans.  _

_ M: :O what would Dorian say?  _

_ C: He wouldn’t say a word, but I’d be dead. _

_ M: The only truly acceptable response. _

He was laughing again, and by the Maker it felt good. His heart hadn’t quite stopped thundering, but he liked how easy it was to text her. It had been that easy this morning as well. 

“What are you laughing at?” Bran asked from the doorway. 

“Uncle Cull!” Henry exclaimed, running around the desk to Cullen. 

Cullen caught him in his arms. “Hey there! Are you here for art class in a minute?”

Henry was practically bouncing. “Yes! With Miss Linda!” 

It was an art therapy class, but Linda had made sure it was kid friendly, with an entire table of art supplies for the kids to participate too. Henry had fallen in love a month ago and had requested to come back every week since. Bran shouldn’t have been surprised that his son had gotten some of his creativity. Bran owned a carpentry shop where he handmade beautiful furniture, and restored older pieces too. 

“Okay, let me just finish this, and I’ll be there,” Cullen promised. Henry nodded and hurried back to Bran. 

“You didn’t answer the question,” Branson said, looking at him suspiciously. 

Cullen didn’t mean to smile, but his lips pulled into one anyway. “Just a funny text, that’s all.”

But by the Maker, he hoped that wasn’t all. 

*** 

The fieldhouse at SRHS was filled with near deafening cheers. “WE ARE TIGERS, AND WE ARE PROUD, THAT’S WHY WE YELL SO VERY LOUD. ALRIGHT!” The bleachers Mara sat on were swaying under the jumping of the students, but she wasn’t paying much attention to them, fingers moving across the screen of her phone, firing off another text. 

_ M: Rutherford, you’re telling me you’ve never read The Great Gatsby? _

_ C: We read it in high school….I...skimmed it at best.  _

_ M: You say to the teacher. I’m going to pretend that you were totally not the average high school student, and that all my students are reading and loving the books I teach.  _

“I have not seen you on your phone this much in, well, ever,” Jamie said once the fieldhouse was quiet enough that she could hear him. 

Mara put her phone down, determined not to watch for Cullen’s reply. “I know. I started texting him yesterday, and we sort of haven’t stopped.”

Jamie grinned. “How every high school of you. Did you fall asleep waiting for his next text too?”

The answer was yes, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Jamie that. It didn’t help that she went to bed far earlier than most people. There had been a text waiting for her when she woke up, and she’d waited until it was at least 6:30 a.m. before replying, hoping not to wake him. She wasn’t sure what it said about her that she was thrilled he replied right away. 

“I’m twenty-eight years old; I do not stay up to text a guy,” Mara replied, her words were a bit too forceful and Jamie knew she totally had. 

“Sure, sure. He ask you out for tonight?” Jamie asked. 

“No? Is he supposed to?” 

Jamie shrugged. “Well, he gave you his card and you got in touch. Ball is in his court, so he should be the one to ask you out.”

Mara rolled her eyes. “Who comes up with these ‘rules’? It is the year of your Maker 9:43, a woman can ask a man out.” 

“Of course she can, and should, but you should let him ask you out. That’s all,” Jamie replied. 

Mara’s phone vibrated, and she purposefully ignored it instead watching the student council set up a massive game of “Hungry Hippo” with students laying out on longboards, and catching colorful balls in boxes. 

“We’re just texting,” Mara said, leaning back and adjusting her blue SRHS jacket. They were gearing up for the basketball state playoffs that night, and had dubbed that day Blue and Gold Friday. Decking out in SRHS gear wasn’t exactly her favorite, but school spirit was important. Another reason why she was sitting in the fieldhouse, and not trying to grade essays in her classroom. At least she had prep today. 

She’d sold out her prep on B days to teach an extra class. The extra money was nice; though, Mara wasn’t sure if losing her sanity was going to be worth it, especially when it was only Drakonis and she was feeling more burnt out than usual. Spring break couldn’t come quick enough. 

“Sure you are.”

She finally looked at her phone. 

_ C: My English teacher was some guy that was about a thousand years old, and hated teenagers. So I’m sure your kids are more motivated that I ever was.  _

_ M: If their essays are anything to go by so far, they’re not.  _

“You going back to Wycome for spring break?” Jamie asked. 

Mara nodded. Her dad still lived there, and she couldn’t quite understand that. After her mother had died when Mara was in high school it was all she could do to get out. At least her aunt, Deshanna, was there, so he wasn’t all alone. She went back as often as she could stand it which was about twice a year, spring break and fall break. 

“Yeah, why?”

“Oh, Liv wanted to take Lily to baby animal days at the Heritage Center. She thought it would be fun if you came too,” Jamie said. 

Mara ignored her phone as it vibrated. “What day did she want to go? I don’t fly out until that Monday. It was cheaper to wait.”

“I’ll let Liv know. We could go on Saturday or Sunday before you fly out,” Jamie said. 

“That’ll be great. Are they going to have the bear cubs again?” she asked. 

“I think so. That was the best part last year,” Jamie said. 

Mara shook her head. “Oh, I thought the best part was the hay slide I went on with Lily nineteen times.” 

Jamie laughed. “And that is why you will always be her favorite.”

_ C: Essay grading sounds awful.  _

_ M: Oh it is. I only got through fifteen last night before I had to step away. So you know, only like 130 to go. That’ll be my weekend.  _

_ C: Sounds nearly as exciting as mine. I agreed to babysitting duties.  _

_ M: For who? _

_ C: My brother. His son is four.  _

“I better. I think I’m still finding hay in my hair,” Mara said. 

“Oh dear,” Jamie said. And Mara glanced out to the gym floor. The cheerleaders and dance team were playing against each other in a basketball game, and one of the dance girls had taken an elbow to the face. The student body was loving the drama of the entire administration running over and the whistles blowing, but the whole thing just made Mara more tired. The students were going to be awfully rowdy for third hour. 

“And this is why I never agree to participate in these things,” Mara said. She hadn’t replied back, but her phone vibrated again. 

_ C: Do you have any nieces or nephews? _

_ M: Sort of have to have siblings for that. Does my colleague’s daughter count? She calls me Aunt Mara. _

_ C: I didn’t realize you didn’t have any siblings, but that counts.  _

Mara did what she did best. She deflected. 

_ M: How many siblings do you have?  _

The students began to sing the school song, the sign that the assembly was nearly over. Jamie nudged her. “That’s our cue.”

She slid her phone back in her pocket, and made her way down the bleachers and back to her classroom. Just one more class, and then her prep was last hour and she could text Cullen back without any interruptions. It would probably make grading essays more bearable. Probably. 

***

The next week and a half passed both quickly and slowly for Cullen. Mara followed him through his day. He came to know her schedule, knew that once lunch rolled around she’d reply again. They went to sleep messaging and then woke up to each other. He’d worried he was bothering her, so he’d not texted one morning, only to find that she had. They’d bonded over the loss of their parents. His had died in a car accident nearly ten years ago while her mother had died when she was in high school. He learned what movies and books she liked, and she’d even rented his favorite one night and then messaged him all the way through, sending cheesy lines. He’d bought a copy of The Great Gatsby, simply because she’d teased him about it, and he’d been sending her updates at the end of each chapter. He’d always loved books, and he found himself reading regularly for the first time in years. 

Mara was funny and kind, and she was just so obviously smart. She loved her job and her students, who she affectionately referred to as her kids. They talked about anything and everything, but had danced around the subject of meeting each other. Things seemed to be going so well, and he hadn’t wanted to rock the boat. It seemed that she didn’t either. 

“Earth to Cullen,” Branson said, knocking on Cullen’s desk. 

Cullen refocused on Branson. “I’m sorry.” 

Bran crossed his arms. “Are you going to talk about whatever it is that has had you glued to your phone the last two weeks?” 

“I have not been glued to my phone,” Cullen protested. Except that he had. There was proof of that in his battery life that had suddenly plummeted. He used to get by on one charge every day and a half, but now? He was finding his battery percentage fell dangerously low in the evenings. He was sure he’d never used his phone so much in his whole life. Not that he was complaining. 

Bran didn’t look convinced in the least. “Spill.”

Cullen rubbed at his eyes, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to tell his brother. “I met a woman at the coffee shop last week.”

“Of course you did. It’s a walking cliche, so it would happen to you,” Bran ran a hand through his blonde curls. 

Cullen ignored his brother and continued. “I gave her my card, and she texted me. We’ve just been texting ever since.” 

Bran nodded. “And you haven’t asked her out yet?” 

“I don’t even know if she’s interested,” Cullen replied. 

Branson threw his head back and laughed. “You’ve been texting for two weeks now. Trust me, she’s interested. I bet she’s even dropped some hints.”

Cullen looked at him incredulously. “Like what?” 

Bran tossed his arm over the back of the chair he was sitting in. “Okay, has she mentioned going anywhere or picking up food or something like that?”

Cullen thought back through their messages. “She asked me for a recommendation for take out the other night.”

Bran waved his hand. “There you go. That was it.” 

“You do not know that,” Cullen said. 

“How long has she lived in South Reach?” Branson asked. 

Cullen shrugged. “Like two years?” 

“So longer than you. Then why would she ask you for a recommendation if she wasn’t lowkey trying to see if you wanted to get food together? What did you say back?” 

“I gave her some recommendations,” Cullen replied, and then instantly worried he somehow managed to mess everything up. 

“Of course you did.” 

“How does anyone know these things?” Cullen immediately wanted to wait to text her, worried he’d missed more signs. 

“It’s just something you learn, don’t worry. You should ask her out though. You’re obviously interested, and she’s stuck around this long,” Bran joked, but there was a serious edge to his tone. 

Cullen had certainly thought about it, but he just wasn’t sure. He’d rushed into things with Thea, hadn’t ever taken the time to mourn Solona’s death properly. He sure as hell wasn’t about to make that mistake again. He had loved Thea; had planned to spend the rest of his life with her,and that was something to be mourned as well. He wasn’t sure he could survive another unraveling, and so maybe it was just easier not to. Not until he was sure. 

And then there was the guilt. Last he’d heard Thea hadn’t moved on, and he felt as if he shouldn’t or couldn’t either. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way. They had promised each other that they’d find happiness. He just wasn’t sure this was it. 

“I don’t know, Bran.” 

Branson frowned. “What don’t you know? It’s dinner and maybe a movie. One date. It’s not a commitment.”

Wasn’t it? It felt like it would be more than that. 

“Isn’t it too soon?” he asked. 

“Too soon?” Bran looked confused. 

“After...well, everything.” Cullen waved his hand. 

“You’re the only one that can answer that question,” Bran said. 

“It’s just too soon, and Thea…” He wasn’t sure he could figure out how to explain any of it to Bran. 

“You know what? Call her. I don’t think she’d be remotely happy at you using her as an excuse not to do anything. So call her.” Bran stood up, and gave him a significant look. 

When Bran walked out of his office, he shut the door, and that was sign enough that he expected him to call then. Cullen ran a hand through his hair, and stood up in front of the window. What would he even say? He wasn’t sure he wanted to call, wanted to feel everything he was likely going to in talking to her again. There was a part of him that knew though, that before he did anything, he did need to talk to her. Things needed to feel as neatly put away as they were on paper. 

He sank back down into his chair, and he selected her name from his contacts list and called. He hoped for a moment she might not pick up, and that he might not have to do this right now. He had no such luck. 

“Hey, Cullen.” 

At the sound of her voice, he waited for the thrum of wistfulness that was sure to follow. It didn’t come, but he still wasn’t sure that calling had been the best idea. 

“Hey, I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.” He resisted looking at the clock; he didn’t want to see exactly what time it was. It was odd, being so attuned to another person, and then suddenly knowing you shouldn’t be. He didn’t want to make guesses as to where she was, as to what she was doing.

“Of course not; I always have time for you. Is everything ok?”  she asked. “It’s been awhile.”

He wasn’t sure how to answer that, but he hadn’t lied to her yet, and he wasn’t about to start. He sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I met someone.” 

He heard a subtle sigh, and he could practically picture her pinching the bridge of her nose. “Why does it feel like you’re apologizing?”

Cullens shifted the phone to his other ear and leaned heavily on his desk. “I don’t know.” 

“Tell me about her.” 

He ran a hand through his hair. “Her name is Mara. She teaches high school English, and she loves her job. She loves books, and I’m reading again just to try to keep up with her references. She’s from Wycome, well, outside it. She’s an elf.” 

“She sounds absolutely lovely.” There was no condemnation in her voice, and he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed. 

“Nothing’s happened. We met once, and we’ve been texting. That’s it.” He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he felt that she should know. 

“So what in the void are you waiting for?” Thea asked, exasperation and a bit of her temper coloring her tone. 

She knew why. She had to know why. “You sound like Bran. How are you doing?” 

There was a pause at the end of the line before she replied, and Cullen knew that she was contemplating pressing him. And then she didn’t. “As well as can be expected. Cat and Nate’s house is beautiful. Thom and Josie are dating, though they don’t think any of us know. Dorian and Bull are the same as ever, though the latter complains more about the tedious aspects of his job than you ever did.” 

He did feel a longing at the mention of his friends, that their lives were continuing and he was not there to be part of it. “You do realize I was asking about you, and not everyone else.” 

There was a pause at the other end of the line. “Why are you calling me, Cullen?” The question was not asked unkindly, but with a subtle force that he’d never seen in any other person. 

“I’m worried that I’ll fuck this up again. That I’m not ready, and I don’t know that I could survive building something and then having to dismantle it again. I don’t want to rush into something that’s not right. How do I know we’re not going to break each other’s hearts?” 

“Oh kitten, I am so sorry. No one can promise you that,” Thea replied gently, and he could hear the heartbreak in her words. “Besides, you are talking to the queen of the fuck ups, so I am not certain I am the best person to ask.”

Cullen shook his head. “Thea, you have nothing to be sorry for. We did what was right for both of us; I just don’t want to make the same mistakes again.” 

“Neither do I.”

“Have you talked to him?” She’d know who he meant. 

There was an intake of breath. “Not beyond the letters we exchange every few weeks. I haven’t told him about… about what happened. Not yet. I needed to sort my own shit out first.” 

Yet. There was so much and so little contained in that small word. There was a promise, and even if Thea wasn’t sure yet, Cullen knew where she was going. “It seems wrong to assume, but don’t hold yourself back because of anything to do with me.” 

This prompted a wry laugh. “Wasn’t planning on it, Cull. I know damn well you would never let me hear the end of it if I did. Your timing is interesting, actually. Nathaniel has gotten tired of me dragging my feet. I finally got the transfer order I wanted, so Nate and I are flying to Orlais tomorrow morning, and somebody is probably going to be very surprised at my presence.” She paused, and when she spoke again her voice was quieter than it had been. “I… I want to try again with him, Cullen. But I want you to make me that same promise: don’t hold yourself back because of me.” 

He swallowed. “I promise.” 

“You know you can always call me,” Thea said. “No matter what else, you are still my friend.” 

He knew that, but he didn’t want either of them to be caught up in what had been. “It was good to talk to you.” 

“It was good to talk to you too, Cullen. Now you get off the phone and do something about that teacher of yours.” He could hear her familiar half smile in her tone. 

“Goodbye, Thea.” 

“Bye, Cullen.”

He set the phone down, and buried his head in his hands. The phone call hadn’t felt the way he thought it would at all, but he wasn’t any more sure than when he’d begun the call. When Mara’s next text came in, he didn’t respond. 

*** 

Mara shoved her phone in her pocket, and tried not to be too frustrated. After a week and a half of nonstop texting with Cullen, it had just stopped. She’d ignored it at first; he had to be busy or something. And then she had waited. And waited. And waited. And it was Sunday, and she hadn’t heard from him in days. 

She’d read back through their most recent conversation, and didn’t find a single thing that she thought might have offended him. He’d probably just lost interest. She shouldn’t have listened to Jamie, and just asked him out or something. She’d sort of tried, asking him for recommendations and hoping that he might pick up on her lowkey invitation, and he’d ignored it. 

It was fine. 

Except that it was all that she could think about as she got out of the back seat of Jamie’s SUV, and stepped into the bright spring day and dirt parking lot of the Ferelden Heritage Center. 

Lily was already grabbing her hand. “Come on Mara! We have to see the bears!” 

Jamie and Olivia were hand in hand, and rushing to keep up with their rambunctious daughter. “We have to pay for our entry first, Lily.”

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, and then the bears?”

They paid for their entry in the big barn, walking through it and out to the farm beyond. There were already scores of people there, and the lines for the train and pony rides were by far the longest of them all. 

Lily dragged them all along as quickly as she could to the large stables were the bears were. There were calves to feed in the stable as well, but Lily was of one mind. 

“Look how fluffy they are!” Lily said, leaning over the wooden enclosure. 

One of the workers was wrestling with one of the cubs. “You want to pet him?” 

Lily nodded quickly. “Yes, please.”

The woman brought the small cub over, and let him gnaw on her vest while Mara and Lily ran their hands down the deceptively soft fur while other folks pressed in around them to pet the cub too. 

The worker gave Mara an apologetic look. “I think they’re going to feed the calves in a minute. If you hurry, she’ll probably be able to help.” 

Mara offered the woman a smile. “Thanks. Hey Lily, should we go feed the calves?”

Lily slipped her hand in Mara’s. “Sure. Aren’t the bears the best?”

“We’ll come back again before we leave, and maybe there will be fewer people,” Mara promised. 

They moved through the crowd of people toward a quieter part of the stable, where baby calves lay among straw. There were a couple of kids gathered around a worker who lugged several massive bottles in a metal carrier. Several other workers were entering the stalls, ready to help the kids feed the calves. Lily was able to score a bottle, and Mara, Jamie, and Olivia snapped pictures of her sitting cross-legged at the edge of the stall, holding the bottle with the help of the teenage farmhand who chatted with her all the while. 

The pictures weren’t totally altruistic; they gave Mara an excuse to check her phone. There was still nothing. 

“You look frustrated. Got anything to do with that guy you’ve been talking to?” Olivia asked. 

Mara gave Jamie an exasperated look, and he held up his hands in surrender. “Anything I know, she knows. We have no secrets.”

Mara sighed. “He stopped texting me.”

Jamie’s jaw dropped. “What? Why? You’ve been texting him endlessly since you met him” 

“I don’t know!” Mara said. “It’s dumb. I mean, we barely know each other. And it’s not as if he owes me anything.”

Olivia frowned. “I’m sure he’ll get in touch, and there’s bound to be some explanation. Jamie told me he runs that nonprofit for lyrium addicts. That’s got to be draining.”

Mara tucked her phone away. “Yeah. It’s not a big deal though.” She just wished she meant it. It turned out that Cullen was too damn good to be true. 

When the bottle was all gone Lily bounded up to Mara, dark brown hair bouncing as she walked. “Let’s go see the bunnies!” 

***

“So, let me get this straight: you talk to this woman nonstop, and then you just decide to ghost her, without another word?” Branson asked. Henry was perched on his shoulders as they wove their way through the crowds gathered for Baby Animal Days. Cullen wasn’t sure how he’d been roped into attending, but he was regretting it with how many people were currently milling about. 

Crowds weren’t his strong suit. 

“It just doesn’t feel quite right. She’s beautiful, and she’s probably got other guys after her. She’ll forget all about it. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to see her ever again,” Cullen replied. 

Bran rolled his eyes. “I just don’t understand why in the void you’re not doing something. You’re not marrying the woman, just take her out for some pasta or something.”

Cullen ran a hand through his hair. “Just leave it, Bran. It’s not happening.” 

“You’re being an idiot,” Bran said. 

Rosalie was ahead of them, hand in hand with Mia’s kids. She turned back. “We’re going to see the bunnies, come on!” 

At least the bunny area wasn’t overrun with people. There were hay bales arranged in a circle, and plenty of small bunnies roaming around within it. People were perched on the bales, bunnies in their laps, and the workers were handing out food to the small children crowded around them. 

“Mara! Mara! Here!” 

Cullen wasn’t sure what it said about him, but his head snapped to where he had heard her name. She was sitting on a bale, blonde hair half pulled back, and wearing a soft-looking sweater and jeans. A dark haired little girl was placing a bunny in her lap, and she was grinning as she petted the white ball of fur. 

“Look at that, you caught one!” Mara said with a smile.

There was a man standing behind her with his smartphone held out to take a picture. “Come on, let’s get a smile, you two.” 

Cullen’s heart sunk as Mara wrapped her arm around the little girl, and smiled up at the man. He wasn’t allowed to be upset, but something in him splintered a bit. He reminded himself that this was what he’d decided was best, and that she should be with someone. 

Then a woman appeared next to the man carrying a large bag of kettlecorn. “Okay, I’ve got popcorn, are you hungry, sweetie?” 

The little girl shook her head and pressed a kiss to the head of the bunny in Mara’s lap. That had to be the coworker Mara had mentioned. Mara glanced around, and Cullen oscillated between wanting to disappear and desperately wanting her to see him. 

The second their eyes met across the groups of people he felt that same giddy feeling creep back up his chest. He smiled and waved, and her returning smile made it difficult to breathe. She handed the little girl the bunny, and then made her way over to him. 

“Hey,” she said. 

Cullen was suddenly very aware of his hands, and wished he knew what to do with them. One hand flew to his neck. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Jamie’s kid, Lily, talked me into it,” Mara explained, crossing her arms over her blue striped sweater. 

Cullen chuckled. “I was talked into it by my niece and nephews.” 

Branson appeared by his side, hand resting on his shoulder. “Come on Cull, you’re missing all the fun.”

It took only a second for Branson to realize that Cullen was talking to Mara before he paused. “Oh sorry, didn’t realize he was actually talking to someone. I’m Branson.”

Mara took Branson’s extended hand. “I’m Mara.”

Bran grinned in a way that made Cullen want to deck him. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mara. Take all the time you need, we’ll be just over there.”

Branson managed to give Cullen a significant look and an elbow to the ribs before he left, and Cullen decided then he really did want to disappear. 

“Sorry about that,” Cullen managed. 

Mara smiled. “No worries. I didn’t mean to pull you away from your family.” 

“You didn’t!” Cullen replied a bit too quickly. He was suddenly worried that she’d rush off again, and that he’d be left with nothing but a handful of moments with her. Again. “Have you been having a good time?”

“Oh, yeah. Where else do you get to pet a bear cub?” Mara replied. 

He’d been so certain just minutes ago that he needed to let her go, but with her standing in front of him he realized how badly he didn’t want to. Every bit of pestering from Branson came rushing back, and Thea’s words too.  _ Don’t hold back. _

“I’ve been so busy this week,” he explained. “I kept meaning to get back in touch, but things came up. Do you maybe want to grab dinner or something tomorrow?” 

Mara looked the same way she did when he’d asked her if she wanted to get a table with him at the coffee shop. A mix of hope and disappointment. “I can’t. I’m flying out to Wycome tomorrow morning.” 

“Oh.” Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. 

Mara tucked a stray strand of hair behind her delicately pointed ear. “Um, I’ll be back on Friday though. Maybe you’re free then?”

Cullen wanted to kick himself. He’d scheduled a program completion at Elevate House that night. “Friday’s bad for me.” 

Mara nodded as if she’d expected it. “Oh yeah, of course. Sorry.” 

Lily had fought her way through the crowd, and was pulling at Mara’s hand. “Come on, Mara. We’re going to ride the train!”

Mara looked at him apologetically. “I guess we’re going to ride the train.”

Panic seized him. She was going to walk away, maybe forever, and he had to do something. “I’ll let you go, but we’ll find a day that works. I promise.”

She nodded. “I’d like that.” 

“I’ll text you,” he vowed as she waved over her shoulder. 

He waved back, some wild hope bubbling up within him. 


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mara has a rough time at home in Wycome, but she and Cullen are finally able to get on the same page. And they finally make it on that date.

Mara’s childhood room had remained intact, and almost exactly as she had left it when she’d moved out right after high school. The walls were the same shade of too bright blue she’d loved as much for the color as for the way her mother had hated it. When her mother had died, she’d hated herself more than a little for it. Just like she’d hated herself for every argument and every point of contention they’d ever had. They were the same things all her friends had fought with their mothers about, but they’d had the opportunity to grow out of those rebellious teenage years, to grow and heal. They’d had a chance for their mothers to become the first person they’d call when things went wrong instead of the last. Mara’s memories of her mother would always be colored with guilt, with all of the recklessness of someone who believed everything in her life was infinite. Until it wasn’t. 

Like her room, much of Wycome appeared unchanged by time, but the excessive development where there had once been open fields told the real story. She’d mentioned as much to her father on the way home from the airport. He’d simply shrugged and replied that not that much had changed, pointing to the longstanding burger and milkshake restaurant that had been there longer than she’d been alive for emphasis. But even that was different, had clearly been renovated. Perhaps it was the proximity to the changes that had blinded him to them, made them somehow unreal. 

Even the feeling of coming home she used to feel pulling into the driveway of the small cream two-story wasn’t the same. The large plum tree that she’d been forced to stand in front of in stiff dresses on Dalish holidays was gone. In its place a small tree now stood, looking as out of place as Mara felt. At least the roses were still there, seeming to stand at attention, as if they might be admonished if they drooped.

Since her mother had died, none of it felt the quite right. The house still bore her ghost: the family pictures hung in the same places, and her father put out the same decorations every season that her mother always had. It was decorated for fall, the decorations now ten years old, and sitting in the same exact spot as if her mother had come and placed them herself. She wondered how her father could stand it, living with a ghost. 

At least her father had her aunt Deshanna, and while her parents had never once seemed anything but thrilled that Mara was an only child, she wondered if sometimes her father regretted that fact. Especially since she’d all but abandoned him. 

A fact that had been brought up again that evening at dinner. Well, not in so many words. They didn’t really talk about things in her family. Which was exactly why she was seething in her bedroom. 

Cullen, true to his word, had texted her, though they still hadn’t made any definite plan to see each other. Not that she didn’t have enough to deal with anyway. Her phone had buzzed a few minutes ago, but she hadn’t so much as glanced at it. 

She felt the same way she always did in Wycome; as if she was drowning beneath the weight of years and all of the things that had gone unsaid for too long. She needed to get out of her room, and this place. She grabbed her phone, and walked out. Her father was in the front room, reading, despite the late hour. 

“I’m going out,” she said, picking up the keys from the bowl on the kitchen counter. 

Her father glanced up from his book. His hair seemed like it had so much more gray in it than it ever had before. His blue square chair hadn’t moved in all those years, but the bookshelves were fuller behind him. “It’s quite late.”

There was some admonishment there, but she couldn’t let it stop her. “I’m just going for a drive. I’ll be back soon.”

Before he could say anything else, she rushed out the door and into the humid spring air. Roads she knew all the names of whipped past her in the darkness. She didn’t know where she was going, just that she needed to go somewhere. Her phone buzzed in the cupholder, and she pulled over. The street she was on was in the foothills of the mountains, and ten years ago there hadn’t been a single house on that land, but now, it was an entire development. The valley stretched out glittering and bright below her, and she wished she could find any beauty in it.  There were two texts on her phone, one after she’d told him things hadn’t gone well at dinner. And then another when she’d never replied back. 

_ C: Was dinner really that bad?  _

_ C: Everything okay?  _

_ M: No. Can I call you?  _

It was ridiculous. She knew that even as she hit send, but she needed to talk to someone, to get out of her own head. 

His response was to call her instead. “Hey,” she answered. 

“Are you alright?” his voice sounded more urgent than she’d expected, and she immediately felt guilty for dragging him into her problems. Hearing him was calming in itself though. She wasn’t sure how to describe it, but it was just the reassurance that he was real. 

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headrest. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Things are just complicated, and I seem to forget that every time I come back here. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” The question was asked so earnestly, so quietly that she wanted to, but knew if she didn’t he wouldn’t fault her for that. 

She sighed. “I don’t even know where to begin.” 

“You said your aunt was bugging you. You could start there?” Cullen offered. 

“We all went out to dinner tonight, me and her and my dad. She made some comment about how I should be visiting more often. And I said something about flight costs and my salary. And then I was reminded what an immense disappointment I am,” Mara replied. 

“I’m sure you’re not a disappointment at all,” Cullen said. 

Mara laughed, wishing it didn’t sound quite so bitter. “Oh, I am. You know what Deshanna and my father said when I told them I wanted to be a teacher? They said, ‘But you could do anything!’ They’ve always wanted something different for me than I did. My being a teacher was impressive when I was twenty-two and everyone else’s kids were still screwing around in college, but now everyone else is in a career, and it doesn’t matter.” 

She could hear Cullen’s confusion. “But you love your job. Doesn’t that matter?”

“Not as much as it should. Now I’m just overworked and underpaid, and Deshanna reminded me that was my fault. As if my student loans don’t already tell me that every month,” Mara said. “I’d just like to feel like they actually look at me when I speak, or that everything I do isn’t somehow a disappointment.” 

“I’m sorry,” Cullen said. And what else was there to say? 

She sighed. “No, I’m sorry to unload all of this on you.”

“Don’t be. I just wish I knew how to help. My parents have been gone so long I don’t have much to offer. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.” 

She was just grateful he was there to listen at all, and that there was something in her life going right. “Well, thank you...for listening.” 

***

Cullen was just getting back to his place when Mara had finally replied. He’d been at Elevate House later than he’d intended, but at least he was caught up on all the work he’d neglected over the past week and a half. He’d wanted to get started earlier, but Delrin had been holding a game night, and he’d been roped into playing a few games too. There were still moments when he looked around while at Elevate House, and he was still so humbled at what had managed to grow there. He was still in awe of the love and laughter that was there for so many, including him. 

He flicked on the lights as he walked up the stairs from his attached garage to his apartment. The place was nice, but it didn’t feel like home. He missed the open space, the lack of neighbors. Though he supposed it was much less work to maintain. He tossed his keys on the kitchen table that was seldom used, and saw Mara’s question:  _ Can I call you? _

And so he’d called her as he sunk down onto his couch, and wondered how he could ever articulate the feeling of pride he felt when she’d confided in him. She was putting trust in him by sharing so much of her life, and he could hear the frustration in the way her voice fractured over words. 

“Well, thank you...for listening.” 

There were a lot of things he wanted to say, and none of them he felt like he could. “Anytime.” 

“Let’s talk about something that’s not depressing,” Mara said, voice already sounding steadier. 

“Like our inability to find a day that worked for both of us the other day?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t pushing to hard. He’d meant to bring it up before, but for one reason or another the conversation had always wandered in another direction before he felt like he could. 

His words startled a laugh out of her. “Yes, because that isn’t depressing at all. What about Saturday?” 

“I can do Saturday,” he replied. 

“Good, that’ll give me something to look forward to after this hellish week,” she said. 

Look forward to. She was going to look forward to seeing him. He couldn’t contain the smile that had spread across his lips. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“If I hadn’t been dragged away by a very insistent five year old, we would have gotten there sooner.”

He grinned. “I hope so.” 

Mara was quiet for a moment. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Where are you?”

She sighed. “Driving around my hometown in my dad’s car in some attempt to get away. So I’m seventeen again apparently.” 

“It sounds like it’s not quite working,” he said. 

“Sounds like you know the feeling,” she replied. 

By the Maker, he did. All too well. It was why he’d left Denerim, and the memories along with it. He glanced around at the bare walls of his apartment, the sparse furnishings, and some part of him wanted to tell Mara all of it. 

“It was exactly how Denerim felt after my divorce,” he managed after a too long moment of silence, of counting breaths thousands of miles away. 

He didn’t want to know what was going on in her head. Somehow that was so much harder to tell her than anything about being in recovery or his past in the SFU. At least she’d known about those things before she’d decided to text him in the first place. Things that had been his deepest secrets were displayed in neat text online for all the world to see. It had felt right at the time, and most days it still did. He was tired of hiding. 

“Oh Cullen, I’m so sorry.” She sounded it, and he hated that. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It wasn’t...it’s not quite what I think you’re thinking. It was something we talked a lot about, and it was what was best for both of us. It wasn’t nasty, and we’re still friends. It just wasn’t right, for either of us. We loved each other, but sometimes it’s still not what’s best.”

“How long ago?” she asked. 

“Six months. About a month’s separation before that,” he replied. 

There was an intake of breath on the other end of the line. “I can’t even imagine. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s an adjustment.”

“I’m sure it is,” Mara said. 

Cullen leaned back in the chair. “I had to leave Denerim after everything. I just couldn’t take the way my friends talked about it, or asked how things were with all this thinly veiled concern. I felt like I was the only one who understood what was happening in my life, and no one wanted to understand, they just wanted me to be okay.”

Except Nate and Cat, but they’d needed to be there for Thea. It felt too selfish to lean on them, even though a part of him knew that they were the only ones who would have understood. Thea had never drawn lines, but some part of Cullen had. Trying to make sure he didn’t try to take what was by all rights hers. And maybe that was another reason he’d had to leave. “I left Wycome as soon as I could for the same reason. Once we hit the year mark it was just like everyone expected me to be fine. I didn’t need them to understand; I just needed everyone around me to acknowledge that everything wasn’t fine,” Mara said. 

“Exactly. And it wasn’t all bad. I came here, started Elevate. I’m closer to my family,” Cullen said. He wanted to add that he was also talking to her, but that seemed impossibly cliche. 

“Do you still feel like it was for the best?” she asked. 

He’d questioned a lot in the last few months, but never that. “Yes, and I think we’ll be happier for it. I think Thea is about to be very happy, and she deserves that.” 

Mara’s words were quiet. “So do you.” 

Maybe he did; maybe he didn’t, but he wanted to try. She spoke again, “What’s going to make you happy, Rutherford?”

He ran a hand down his face. “A good night of sleep, and I’d very much like to see you again.” He was worried he was being too forward, but he wasn’t sure he cared. 

“I’d like that too.” He could almost see her smile. “I think I’m going to drive back to my dad’s house now.”

“Alright.”

There was a pause. “Cullen?”

“Yes?” 

“Whatever happens, I’m glad I met you,” she said. 

His heart stumbled. “I’m glad I met you too.”

“Get some sleep, okay?” It was a small request, and he wanted desperately to be able to heed it. 

“Drive safe.” 

***

Mara’s father’s car inched along the interstate, and Mara tried not to stress about making her flight. The traffic had been unexpected, but they’d left her dad’s house in plenty of time. She hoped. 

They were driving in mostly silence, and she had her attention focused out the window, watching the trees and the billboards pass by far too slowly. She couldn’t quite get her conversation with Cullen out of her head though. So much of his behavior made sense now she knew about his divorce. He was cautious, and why wouldn’t he be? He was awkward too, but she found that endearing. She had wanted to pester him with questions, and try to understand what had happened. She didn’t; she was just content to listen, and let him share whatever he wanted to share. Creators knew she wasn’t ready to get into her dating history with him quite yet. 

“We’ll get you there in plenty of time, da’len,” her father said. 

She turned her attention back to him. “I know. Travelling just stresses me out a bit.”

“As does coming home, it seems,” he replied. 

He wasn’t wrong, but she felt like she needed to tell him he was. “I’m sorry.” 

She wanted it to not be the case, but the truth was she rarely looked forward to these visits. She should have a different attitude. She knew just how fleeting life could be, and that her father would not be around forever. 

“Are you happy in South Reach? You seem to be settling down there,” he said. He’d changed the subject, as they often did. It happened so often that they would inch closer to actually saying something that mattered, and then her father would change the subject, pivot just to the side that they never truly scratched the surface. It occurred to her that she knew so little about her father, about his hopes and dreams. Was he lonely? She’d never actually asked. 

Perhaps she was settling down. South Reach was the place she’d lived the longest since her undergrad. She’d been saving money to buy a house, hoping that once her student loans were paid off she’d be ready in the next year. 

“I am,” she replied. 

Her father wasn’t looking away from the road, from the traffic that had finally begun moving again. “You know that’s all Deshanna and I want for you, right?”    
She nodded. “Yeah, I know dad.” 

“Maybe in the fall I should come out for your fall break instead, and you can show me around South Reach.” It was an offer made with tenuous hope, and Mara appreciated it for what it was. 

“That would be really great,” she said. 

Her father smiled. “Good. What are you going to do with the last of your spring break?” 

She wished the could stay on the topic of him coming out longer, that they could talk about how he knew how Wycome made her feel. It was a breakthrough of sorts she supposed, to have mentioned it at all. 

“All of the things that’ve gone neglected. Grocery shopping, laundry, and I think I’m going out with this guy tomorrow,” she said. Adding the last part, and not sure if she hoped he’d take up the topic or not. 

He turned off the exit to take them to the airport. “Oh?”

Her father was leaving it open-ended, letting her decide how much she wanted to share. Perhaps it was because she was leaving, but she wanted to give him something, make some offering before she left. “His name is Cullen, he runs a nonprofit. He’s really sweet.” 

The airport came into view, and a plane was taking off at the end of a runway. There were so many cars changing lanes, trying to get into the right one for pick-up or drop off. Her father parked the car right next to the curb, and before she knew it her backpack was over her shoulder and her suitcase standing upright beside her. 

Her father pulled her into a hug, and she wished they were better at all of this. On the platform around them, people were giving one another tearful goodbyes and seeming to say everything that they meant. It had never been that easy for them. Mara wished she could read the thoughts swirling behind his eyes, and she wondered if her father wished the same thing, looking at the green eyes she’d inherited from him and wanting to understand. 

“Call me when you land?” he asked, offering her a smile. 

She nodded. “Of course.” 

He gave her shoulder a squeeze before walking around to the other side of the car. “Hey, dad?” 

He paused, car door open. “Yeah, da’len?” 

“Ar lath ma.” 

His smile grew a little watery, and his voice was gruff when he replied. “Dareth shiral.” 

And she knew he meant ‘I love you’. She waved to him, and watched his car pull away from the curb and disappear into the sea of cars before she went inside the airport. She took one last deep breath, the air heavier in her lungs with the humidity and swirling of emotions. She felt years back, plane ticket in hand, bidding goodbye to the place that no longer felt like home. She rubbed her eyes. She was ready to go home, and somehow without her looking, home had become South Reach.

Security lines and a too long food line later, she sunk into one of the seats at her gate, finally checking her phone.  

_ C: Flying home today?  _

_ M: Yeah, just waiting at the gate now.  _

_ C: Was everything okay with your dad and your aunt?  _

_ M: It will be. _

She really believed it would. 

***

Saturday went by too slowly, and Cullen wasn’t sure he wanted to admit just how closely he was watching the clock. He’d hardly slept the night before; old demons had come haunting, not even chased away by looking forward to finally seeing Mara. He’d spent those blue hours of night turning to day reading, and then arriving to Elevate House earlier than he’d needed to. 

Barris was already there too, and they had exchanged a look filled with too much understanding when they’d seen each other. There was so much comfort in being surrounded by others dealing with the same things as him. He no longer had to make up some excuse, or keep any manifestations of his symptoms carefully hidden. In one look he could communicate how things were, and know that he had been perfectly understood. He’d wanted the comradery for those who found Elevate House. He’d just never expected to find it for himself. 

“Tonight’s the night?” Delrin asked, later that afternoon as they washed dishes together in the kitchen. Saturday was a busy day for family therapy sessions, and they always tried to have fresh baked treats or some sort of activity. Cullen wanted the kids to enjoy their time there, even if other pieces of it were difficult. 

Cullen nodded, trying not to spray water everywhere while he washed the muffin tin. “It is.” 

Barris was grinning. “Took you two long enough.” 

Cullen may have tried to spray Barris a bit as he handed him the muffin tin. “Not everyone moves as quickly as you do.”

Barris had started his job, and met Rosalie the same day. She’d been volunteering at the front desk, and they’d met and that had been it. They’d been nigh inseparable ever since. Cullen couldn’t really complain though, it meant that Rosalie spent as much time as she could volunteering there. They were happy, and he wouldn’t ever admit it, but it’d been a privilege to watch one of his best friends and his sister fall in love.

Barris chuckled. “Hey, just saying. What time are you leaving?”

Cullen glanced to the clock that hung behind them, over the wall that led to the main hallway. “Just a few minutes. We’re going up to Summit for the evening.” 

Summit was a mining town turned ski destination. In the winter the place swelled full of people looking for snow and perfectly manicured trails. The city itself was full of specialty shops, and upscale restaurants. Once the snow began to melt and the tourists filtered out to someplace warmer for the winter, that was when Cullen loved it best. And though he couldn’t fault the tourists for going in search of turns in soft snow, he believed there to be far better resorts that were much closer to South Reach.

Barris let out a low whistle. “Going fancy?” 

Cullen laughed. “Ironic maybe, we’re going to The Eating Establishment.” 

“They make a damn fine burger,” Barris said. 

“Fish and chips too,” Cullen added. 

Barris finished drying the muffin tin. “Well, why don’t you take off? I’ll finish this.” 

Cullen switched the water off. There were only a few dishes left, and Barris could easily handle it all. He’d been looking forward to leaving Elevate House all day, and now that the time had arrived he suddenly was worried about leaving. “Alright.”

Barris moved to take his place at the sink. “I can tell you’re stressing. Don’t.” 

Cullen dried his hands off on a towel. “Thanks. You and Rosie try not to find too much trouble.”

Barris’s answering grin was wide. “Us and trouble? Never.”

Cullen grabbed his jacket and keys from his office, and then made his way to his car. Summit was easily going to be ten to twenty degrees colder than South Reach. South Reach was enjoying a clear spring day, but Cullen knew Summit would likely still be a bit brisk. 

Mara didn’t live far from the main part of town, though she was on the opposite side of the valley from the high school. South Reach was a small place, nestled in the mountain valley, but five minutes in any direction and there was nothing but farms. 

Her apartment complex was a collection of apartment buildings and townhomes that Cullen knew well, having looked into them as a possibility when he’d moved back. He’d decided on the place he lived now because of proximity to his work, but where Mara lived had been a contender. How funny would that have been, if they lived at the same place? Perhaps he would have met her sooner.  

He shut the car off, and tried to calm the fluttering of his heart as he approached her door. He hadn’t been this nervous in years, but there was something exciting about that too. He took a deep breath before knocking on her door. 

He worried for a moment he might be in the wrong place, but then the door opened and Mara greeted him. Her hair was in soft curls, and she’d taken it to heart when he had told her to dress warm. She was wearing a gray sweater and jeans, but she had a coat tossed over her arm and was slinging the strap of her purse over her head as she answered.

“Hey there,” she smiled. 

He was struck by just how green her eyes were, and had she been this beautiful the last time he’d seen her? His knees felt a little unsteady. “Hi. Looks like you’re ready.”

Mara arched an eyebrow. “Well when you tell a girl to dress warm, but you don’t give her any other information she has to bring her whole wardrobe.”

He chuckled. “Somehow I doubt that’s all of it.”

“Ferelden is the worst. When do I get let in on the secret destination?” she asked as she locked her door. 

He lead the way to his car, opening her door for her. “We’re going to Summit for the evening, and that part was never a secret, you just never asked.”

Mara smiled. “Isn’t that like forty minutes away?”

He nodded. “I promise it’s worth it.” 

When he climbed into his side of the car she pointed towards the mountains. “Drive on, Rutherford.”

***

Mara wasn’t surprised that Cullen drove an absolutely sensible car. South Reach winters could be brutal, and his small SUV was a car that would definitely be able to handle those snowy days. He was only wearing a blue sweater, and for a moment she worried she’d grossly overestimated when he said pack warm, but she noticed he had a coat as heavy as hers in the back seat. 

Their conversation was easy, but Mara had worried it wouldn’t be, that perhaps they would have somehow exhausted every topic of conversation already in the weeks they’d been texting. They hadn’t, and it never quite felt like they were reaching for topics, or that when the car fell quiet it was a problem. 

She’d let the conversation drop off for a moment as she stared intently out the window. The car made its way along the winding canyon road, and in a moment it would be the furthest she’d ever been up this particular canyon. The road followed the river, and mountain cliffs rose up on either side of them, the shady places still covered in snow, looking like icing upon many layers of rock. A waterfall was visible from the road - rushing and tumbling into a spray, icicles still visible in places. 

The hills around them ran into peaks, and the trees were covered with new leaves, just beginning to uncurl. Mara had learned that spring came slow in Ferelden, winter’s grasp holding tightly all the way through Cloudreach. There were the occasional balls of white fluff floating from the cottonwood trees, and gathered along the edges of the cement rails of the road. After a while the mountains parted to make way for a larger valley and a reservoir stretched out beside the road. They passed a small mountain town, so small Mara believed if she blinked too long she might have missed downtown altogether. Then, they were back winding along the hills. 

“It’s gorgeous up here,” she breathed. 

“Was driving you up the canyon all it took to make you like Ferelden?” Cullen asked. 

She shook her head. “I never said I didn’t like Ferelden. I don’t like the  _ weather  _ in Ferelden. Too damn cold for too damn long.”

Cullen laughed then. “Should I apologize for taking you up to where it’s colder then?” 

“Only if you mean it,” she said. 

“How about I just promise that it’s worth both the drive and the cold weather?” 

She grinned. “You’ve got a pretty high opinion of yourself there, Rutherford.”

He chuckled. “How about I just promise that the food is good?”

“The company is good too,” Mara replied, hoping that it wasn’t too cheesy a thing to say. 

Upon glancing over at him it looked like his cheeks had reddened a bit, and that made her feel a bit better. She’d had so many questions she wanted to ask about him, but worried that those conversations weren’t going to be appropriate over text, but how to bring up those topics now? 

“Can I ask you a perhaps too personal question?” 

His eyes didn’t leave the road, but she thought they looked a bit weary. “Of course.”

She worried about phrasing, about getting her point across. “What made you change your life, leave the SFU and quit lyrium?”

He took a deep breath and looked a bit relieved. “Sort of everything. I was there for the riots in Kirkwall, and lyrium drove my commanding officer bezerk. I had to do something. I’d been complicit in too much. So I moved back to Ferelden, and Thea’s aunt and uncle gave me a chance. They saw what I wanted to be and believed in me, and so they gave me the job at Seawolf and Steed.”

“And that’s how you met Thea?” Mara asked. 

Cullen nodded. “I didn’t meet her until she was made a VP, but yes, that was how we met. She came in and was in charge of the dealings in Orlais, Antiva, and Nevarra.” 

“Oh.” Mara had heard of Seawolf and Steed, who hadn’t? She didn’t know much, but she knew they were very successful, which meant that Thea likely had been as well, and probably beautiful too if the attractiveness of the man next to her could be believed. So what in Creator’s name was he doing with her? She was a teacher, not exactly the epitome of success. 

He spared a quick glance at her before his eyes flicked back to the road. “What is it?” 

“I just didn’t realize she practically owned Seawolf and Steed,” Mara replied. It wasn’t quite the truth, but she didn’t want to seem too insecure. He had asked her out after all, and there was no sense comparing. It didn’t mean that she didn’t, but she at least knew how nonsensical it was. 

She was saved his response as they came around the bend, and Summit came into view. The city was nestled along the hills, and all of the houses on the ridge were so close together that they looked like they’d been squished in there. Every house was a different bright color, blues and greens, reds and yellows, all crouching on the hillside beside the main street. The street was also on the hill, and from the bottom of it Mara could look up the the entire street, the square storefronts bright and welcoming. There were people milling about, but not as many as she might have expected for a Saturday night. The lights were just beginning to flick on and it made the whole place seem like it was glittering. 

“Wow,” she breathed.

Cullen parked the car, and she realized he was watching her reaction with a sort of awe. He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Worth it?”

She nodded. “Okay, Rutherford, you’ve got my attention.” 

“This isn’t even the best part.”

***

The air in Summit was chilly, and Cullen could see the ski runs on the mountains from where they had parked. It wasn’t much of a walk up Main Street to arrive at The Eating Establishment. The restaurant was in a building that had been a store in another life, and in good weather the patio was often filled with people.

“The Eating Establishment, huh?” Mara asked teasingly as he opened the door for her. 

He shrugged. “At least it’s self explanatory.”

“Creativity was apparently not their strong suit,” Mara remarked. 

Their host seated them, and they both shed their coats as they sat down. Cullen was still trying to feel like the night was real. He felt as if his heart stomach was continually flipping as they spoke, and even a long drive with her hadn’t seemed to banish that feeling. 

“So I have a personal question for you now,” he said. 

Mara took a sip from her water glass. “Seems fair.” 

“What made you want to be a teacher?” 

Mara let out a bit of laughter, and was it colored with relief? “That was not what I thought you were going to ask. Um...well, I always wanted to be a teacher.”

“Really?” 

She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “All the other kids wanted to play house, and I always wanted to play school. My whole life it sort of seemed like teachers were the smart ones. I don’t believe that anymore, if anything I realize just how much they were probably winging and making up as they went, but it was what I always wanted. And then I fell in love with literature. I get to talk about books all day, and get paid for it.”

“And grade, and run the newspaper, and teach on your prep,” he added. 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and the teaching on my prep is for extra money. I’m going to buy a house at some point.”

“What kind of house?” he asked. 

“One in my very modest price range,” she laughed. 

Cullen liked how open she was, but also how she managed to be so down to earth. He wanted to know everything about who she was, and the dreams she had. Over the course of dinner it felt like she felt the same, but she still skirted some of the big topics, like lyrium and his divorce. He wasn’t sure he blamed her, but he liked the way she looked at him, and worried that might change if she asked those questions. 

He reminded himself that they were still getting to know each other, and that those conversations could come later. At least she already knew about those things, and he didn’t have to find ways to bring them up. And the tiniest part of him hoped that because she didn’t ask, maybe it meant she didn’t care about his past. That she didn’t care about the mistakes he’d made along the way because Maker knew he’d made his fair share. 

After he’d paid the check he asked, “Are you ready for the best part?” 

Mara glanced out the floor to ceiling windows where it had turned to night. The rest of the street glittered and gleamed. “Does it mean we’re going back out into the cold?” 

“Only for a minute,” he promised. 

Mara made a show of sighing as she put her napkin down on the table. “Well, I suppose we have to leave sometime before first thaw.” 

He laughed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so much. “I’m not sure that the proprietors would let you stay here until Justinian.” 

“Hey, you never know. Maybe they’d just take me in.”

The door opened to the quiet street, and even Cullen had to admit that it was cold. “It’s not far,” he said as they turned to walk up the street. 

Mara hung close, as if she might somehow be warmer the closer she walked. She had one hand buried in her coat pocket, and the other pressed up to her mouth. Her breath came out in white puffs as she tried to warm her fingers. He wasn’t sure what came over him, but when she went to put that hand in a pocket he grabbed her hand, encircling her fingers with his own. 

“Maker’s breath, your fingers are cold!” He didn’t think it was quite  _ that _ cold. 

Mara looked incredulous. “It’s cold! What did you expect?!” 

She held fast to his hand though, and that shimmering feeling in his chest was back. “Not cold enough for you to lose fingers in minutes.”

Mara scowled at him in response, but it shifted into a smile quickly. And then he pulled her into the bright yellow building. 

“You ready for the best part?” he asked. 

But Mara’s eyes were already wide as she looked around the place. 

***

Mara couldn’t believe it. Cullen had brought her to a bookstore. A bell above the door chimed their arrival, and the wood floors creaked under old, faded rugs. There was a main counter to her left, and a few tables near it. There was coffee brewing behind the counter, and the entire place smelled of books and the sharp aroma of coffee. By the tables was a small area with small shelves and bright colors, clearly the children’s section. In the back there was a ladder leading to a loft area with a sign over it that read ‘Rare Books’. They were greeted by an elderly man in a cushioned chair beside the counter. He barely looked up from his book as he said hello. 

She took a deep breath. “There’s nothing in the world that smells as good as this.” 

Cullen’s golden eyes were full of a quiet sort of amusement. “It is a pretty good smell.” 

He still had hold of her hand, and she wasn’t quite ready to let go. It seemed that neither was he because he gently led her past a few shelves of best-sellers to the back corner of the store. There was a narrow set of stairs there, and Cullen had to duck not to hit his head on the low ceiling, but once downstairs there were rows and rows of books. 

“Okay, I’m dead, and this is heaven.”

Cullen chuckled. “I had hoped you would like it.”

He had planned this entire evening around her to bring her to this place, and that was easily the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. “I love it.”

She didn’t quite want to let go of his hand, worried that if she did he might somehow disappear, but there were books to see, and so she reluctantly let it go. And then she begun to explore. Cullen did as well, though not quite together. He’d wandered over to another row of books while she’d gone to another. She wasn’t sure why, but she loved that they could go into a bookstore and go off exploring books. It was a silly thing to care about, but she was finding that she liked an awful lot of things about Cullen Rutherford. 

The store was mostly empty, and Mara loved that she could take her time at the shelves looking over any book that caught her eye. In the back shelves, she found a gorgeous collection of short stories by Fitzgerald. It was a hardcover, and the cover art was covered in grays and oranges. She clutched it close to her heart, and decided that she’d purchase it, that way no matter what happened she’d have a reminder of that perfect night. 

She walked the rows, boots making noise against the bright wood floors, to where Cullen was. He had his nose in a book, already several pages in. He looked up as she approached, and smiled at her, eyes falling to the book in her hands. 

“I really shouldn’t be surprised,” he said. “What did you find?”

He placed the book he’d been looking at back on the shelf as she held out hers, and she moved close to his side. 

He looked at the cover. “Fitzgerald. I’m really not surprised at all.” 

She shrugged. “It’s a gorgeous book, and I’m going to buy it.”

She wasn’t sure, but it felt as if he’d moved closer to her. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.” 

She felt electrified, aware of every bit of distance between them. She was looking up into his eyes, and trying not to get lost in them. She wanted to kiss him, but she wasn’t sure if it was what he wanted. He’d taken her hand, and it may have been romantic, and it may have been due to the cold. She just wasn’t quite sure. He was looking at her too though, and then his eyes darted to her lips and back up again. And then she made up her mind. 

She pressed onto her tiptoes, lips meeting his briefly and more clumsily that she’d intended. He was taller than she’d thought. It was abrupt, and she fell back onto her heels more quickly than she’d meant to. Cullen had barely reacted, and she worried that she’d done something wrong. 

***

Cullen had been standing on the precipice of decision, but not quite able to find the courage to take that next step. Mara was close to him, so close, and his skin felt like it didn’t quite fit. He longed to do something, and he’d been trying to gather the courage when she’d closed the distance, lips meeting his for the sweetest and shortest of moments. He wasn’t sure that he was even breathing when she pulled away, and he felt for a moment that perhaps his world had stopped. It hadn’t. Mara had sunk down, eyes searching his face, and he realized she was worried.

With the same suddenness that had come over him when he’d grabbed her hand, he cupped her face and brought his lips crashing against hers. There were so many hopes hanging in that moment, and when she kissed him back each one seemed to be answered. Her book was pressed between them as they fought to close all distance, but he didn’t care. She was kissing him, and it didn’t feel quite real. Yet there she was, hand buried in his sweater as if she might anchor him there. He had no intention of going anywhere, and as he kissed her he waited, worried that guilt might come barrelling into him. There was no guilt to be found, just a clear, bright, bubble of happiness. It seemed to fill him so full he might burst. Nothing felt more right than kissing her in that bookstore, and he wanted to commit every bit of that moment to memory. He hoped that this moment was going to be one of many, and he realized he might just be content to kiss her forever. 


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mara and Cullen have a conversation about their future, and Elevate House goes on a weekend retreat. NSFW.

Mara parked her car on the quiet side street, and took in everything that was Elevate House. It sat on a corner, and the walkway to the house stretched out diagonally towards the corner. There was a call in the blue and white painted exterior that was undeniable. The grass was a fresh shade of green, and there was a flowering cherry tree in the front yard covered in soft pink blossoms. 

Cullen had invited her to Elevate House the night before, with a hopefulness that had made her heart hurt. It was the same sort of request she often got from students asking her to come to a performance, or sports game. Even if she hadn’t wanted to see everything he’d built, she would have said yes. His kisses were punctuated with disbelief and awe, as if he was still a little unsure that this was reality. It had only been a few weeks, and Mara was well aware that there was no such thing as perfection, but whatever was happening with Cullen was pretty fucking close. She still wasn’t sure exactly what that was; they still needed to talk about what they were to each other, but Mara wasn’t in any rush. 

Mara made her way to the front door. The door itself was beautiful, the entire top panelling colorful stained glass that had to be original to the house. She opened the door, and was immediately met with a sign that proclaimed, ‘Welcome home.’ The walls were a clean white color, but there was dark wood molding that contrasted beautifully. Behind a small desk near the stairs there was a blonde woman talking on the phone, and looking at a computer screen. She smiled at her when she noticed Mara. 

Mara wasn’t sure, but she thought the woman might be Cullen’s sister. They had the same shade of golden eyes. “Alright, so we’re scheduled for Tuesday at three. See you then.”

The woman hung up the phone. “Hey, welcome. How can I help you?”

Mara was glancing toward the large front room where there was a  group of people sitting together and talking. “I’m here to see Cullen.” 

The woman’s eyes lit up. “You’re Mara!” 

Mara nodded. “And you are…?”

“Rosalie, sister, it is so nice to meet you. He’s finishing up with our afternoon therapy circle, but he’ll be out in a minute,” she said.  

Mara moved closer to the desk. “He mentioned that you worked here in the afternoons when you could.”

Rosalie nodded. “I like it here.” 

Mara did too. She hadn’t seen much of the place, but it was calming. The entire place felt expertly put together, but not in a way that was unrealistic. It felt clean, and it felt like a place worth being. 

“It’s beautiful,” Mara replied. 

Rosalie smiled and stood from the desk, waving Mara over with her towards the kitchen area where there was a large table. “So, Cullen said you’re a teacher?” 

“Yeah, I teach English at South Reach High School,” Mara said. 

Rosalie raised a fist in the air. “Go Tigers!”

“You went there?” Mara asked. 

Rosalie shook her head. “No, I graduated from a school in Honnleath, but all the high school stuff is such a big deal around here.” 

Mara laughed. “Yeah, not a lot else here to get excited about it seems.”

“You can say that again, but you should know, we’re all pretty excited about you and Cullen. He’s had a rough go of things, you know? First Solona died, and he and Thea’s divorce. I know things are still new, and I’d hate to put any pressure on you, but he’s happy. So, thank you,” Rosalie smiled. 

Solona. She didn’t know who that was, but her heart sunk as everything clicked into place. No wonder he held her like she might disappear, he’d lost two people now, no matter how mutual his divorce had been. It made her question what it was he might be doing with her, and what they were doing together. 

She mustered up a smile for Rosalie. “Hey, pretty happy over here too.” 

And she was, and that was what made her so worried. The other shoe had to drop at some point, didn’t it? Since that perfect night in Summit she’d been waiting, for what, she wasn’t sure. Maybe this was it, and maybe Cullen didn’t want to love again, and by the Creators she didn’t blame him. Her last relationship had ended badly, and though it hadn’t been the sort of catastrophic ending that perhaps he’d dealt with, it had been devastating enough. Enough that she’d moved to a brand new town, and stopped wanting a lot of things for a very long time. She’d felt ready for a while, and finding Cullen had cemented that, but she worried that wasn’t what he wanted, or needed. 

“So Cullen said you’re from Wycome. What brought you all the way to South Reach?” Rosalie asked. 

Mara shrugged. “I left Wycome as soon as I could, and I’ve been moving around a bit ever since. I love South Reach though, it’s just the right sort of quiet. I could do with a bit less snow though.”

“Snow is my favorite though! It’s just so gorgeous, and the skiing. You can’t beat the skiing,” Rosalie said. 

Mara laughed. “I’ve never even attempted it, so I’ll take your word for it.”

“This winter, I’m dragging you up the mountain.” Rosalie smiled. Mara didn’t miss the way Rosalie so easily planned for the future, for Mara to be part of it. 

“Skiing looks like it requires a certain level of coordination that I’m not sure I have,” Mara admitted. 

“No way to know until you try.”

“Fair point,” Mara said. 

The double doors to the front room opened then, with an audible snap, and both Mara and Rosalie turned toward the sound. A man emerged first, looking first to the empty front desk and then looking around quickly. His eyes softened when he saw Rosalie sitting at the table, and he smiled. 

“There you are.”

Rosalie’s whole face lit up. “Delrin, this is Mara.”

She wasn’t sure that his grin could get bigger, but it did. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Barris.” 

He extended his hand as Rosalie scooted over on the bench to make room for him. Mara took it and smiled. “Nice to meet you, too.” 

“Cullen will be out in a minute. We had a doozy of a session today,” Barris explained. 

Rosalie linked arms with him, but her eyes were a little tight. “Oh?”

Barris turned and pressed a kiss to Rosalie’s. “You can ask Cull if you want, but it’s okay.”

Mara was struck by how difficult it must be for Rosalie to be here, to be reminded in this way about everything her brother went through, and was still going through. And yet, she was still there. 

There was a slow filter of people out of the front room, and soon Cullen emerged too still in conversation with a tall, brown haired man. An older woman was there too, saying goodbye with comforting smiles. Then the man Cullen was talking with pulled him into a hug. Mara glanced away, suddenly worried that she was seeing something she shouldn’t, that she was somehow imposing. 

***

The day had been a hard one, but a good one. Linda had touched on guilt and shame during the session, and Cullen didn’t always share, but today he had. He tried to be there as support, and as another person to help foster discussion. That day he’d shared what it had been like to come back to Ferelden, to feel lost, but also the guilt over what had transpired in Kirkwall. He talked about how he felt he had to hide his past, keep the fact he’d been a lyrium addict such a secret. That had been the piece had resonated so deeply with everyone, and the rest of the session had been others sharing their experiences, and still dealing with that. 

Elevate did a lot with employer outreach, and trying to help these men find jobs, but it wasn’t enough to change attitudes, and Cullen had been struck by how much there was still to do. How much change there still needed to be, and how grateful he was that Elevate House existed for these sorts of conversations. 

Cullen had bid Davis goodbye with an unexpected hug, but when he’d turned to see Mara sitting at the kitchen table with Rosie and Barris, the last bits of heaviness floated away. She looked beautiful, a pretty blouse tucked into a navy pencil skirt, and she was laughing at something Barris had said. 

“I’m so glad you came,” he said as he approached the table. 

She glanced up at him with a smile that had yet to not produce butterflies in his stomach. “Me too. I’ve just been getting to know Barris and Rosalie.”    
He worried what either of them might have said, and he rubbed at his neck. “Would you like the grand tour?”

She nodded as she stood. “Yes, please.” 

“Um, you’ve seen most of the downstairs, but this room over here is our biggest. Therapy circles are held here, art therapy on Thursdays. All the big things sort of happen in that room,” Cullen explained as he began to walk towards the stairs. 

“This is my office,” Cullen gestured to the small room by the stairs. It wasn’t large, just big enough for a desk and a few chairs and for Cullen not to feel too claustrophobic in it. There were the windows behind his desk, and they were his favorite part, facing the backyard that was full of tall trees. 

“Nice to see you have a bookshelf in there,” Mara commented as she poked her head in the room. 

He chuckled. “That would be the thing you’d notice.”

Mara shrugged. “Someday I’m going to have a house with more bookshelves than I have books to fill them with.”

“Anything else this dream house has to have?” he asked. 

She smiled. “A big yard, and a mabari or two.”

“How very Ferelden of you.”

“What can I say, living here has apparently rubbed off on me,” she said. 

“Want to go upstairs?” he asked. 

Mara nodded. “You’re the one leading the tour. Lead the way.”

He started up the stairs, and noticed Mara running a hand over the intricate wood design that ran along them. “It’s original to the house.”

“It’s beautiful,” she replied. 

Once at the top of the stairs, Cullen paused, waiting for Mara to join him. “Up here are mostly our small therapy rooms. They’re more for individual or family sessions.”

Each room was soft and clean, with comfortable chairs and couches. Each looked like a small living room, contained to itself. Further along the hallway, there was a big window before the hallway turned to the right. 

Cullen and Mara turned the corner. “These rooms are for our patients that need a place to stay, or to detox. We’re not really equipped for full detox here, but after the initial time at a rehab center we partner with, they come here. It’s sort of a halfway point.” 

“Do you want to be able to do all of it here?” Mara asked. 

Cullen leaned against the doorway of one of the rooms. Only the one furthest down the hallway was being used at the moment, and Audra was at work. “That is the dream. Someday maybe we’ll be big enough to have medical facilities on site, and to house entire families. We’ve got the land for the expansion, but it’ll take time to get there.”

Mara tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m sure it will.” 

Cullen nodded, heading back towards the stairs. “For now, this is good. And plenty to manage.” 

Mara smiled. “I’m sure. Um, Cullen?”

He turned, and Mara had crossed her arms tightly across her chest. Her eyes were stormy, and he paused, wondering what was wrong. “Yes?”

“Do you think that maybe we could talk?” she asked. There was a tentative note to her voice, and that made him almost as nervous as her question. His mind began racing through possibilities, began to brace for the worst. He’d been out of the SFU for over five years, and his first response was always to strategize, to analyze. He glanced toward the empty room they were standing by. It was Wednesday, and after the therapy circle there weren’t ever appointments scheduled with the therapists and counselors, an effort to give them time with their families too. It wasn’t perfect, and sometimes things came up, but it was attempt. 

He gestured toward the empty room. “Want to talk in here?” He was surprised by how steady his voice was, but not surprised when she nodded and went inside. She sat down on the light blue couch, and as unsure as he was, he still shut the door behind her and followed. 

“I’ve been trying to talk myself out of this conversation for a while,” she admitted. “Things have been so good, and part of me sort of worried that talking might change that.”

He sunk down beside her, heart pounding. “What conversation?” 

Mara took a deep breath. “The what are we to each other conversation. I’ve been telling myself it’s too soon, but then Rosalie mentioned Solona and I don’t know who that is. And I don’t know that I even have a right to.” 

His head lifted. So she didn’t want to end things? “Of course you have a right to know, you always have a right to know. I told you that I wanted to be completely honest with you, and that any questions you had, you only needed to ask.”

Mara nodded, and her gaze fell to her hands that were clasped in her lap. “I know, but I’ve also been trying not to push you or to ask things that aren’t really my business. We haven’t really talked about our past romantic histories. I mean, you told me about Thea, but beyond that I didn’t know anything else. I’m not blaming you, and I’m not mad or anything. If this is going the way I feel that it’s going, I think these are conversations we have to have.” 

Cullen relaxed a bit, but there was still a tension that he couldn’t quite name. “I think you’re right.”

She wasn’t looking at him, but she seemed to be steeling herself to say something else. Suddenly, he found himself bracing again. “I don’t know everything, but I know enough to know that things haven’t been the easiest for you. You’ve lost two women you cared about, and I’d understand if….” 

Her words faltered. She took a deep breath and looked at him, something in her eyes Cullen could only describe as heartbreak. “I’d understand if you weren’t looking for anything serious. For anything beyond a few dates after meeting someone in the coffeeshop.” 

He wasn’t sure he was breathing. She had looked at what she knew of his past, and she was giving him an out. She was willing to let him go even though that was clearly not what she wanted, he could see that. He reached across the distance that had seemed unbreachable just a few moments ago, and took her hand in his. 

“Solona was the first person I ever fell in love with, and how did Fitzgerald put it? It was the beginning and end of everything. She was a brilliant scientist, and one day she was at work, and there was an accident. She died, and it felt like the world was going to end,” he explained. Her had was grasping his, and her green eyes were bearing into his. 

“I...I am not proud of the person I became after that. At the bitterness and the despair that I clutched so tightly. When I left the SFU and quit lyrium, the pain of all of that hit again with such an intensity I thought I’d never be happy again. And then I met Thea and I think we were both so surprised to find that we could love again after everything we’d both been through, that we settled for an echo of what we deserved.”

He held fast to her hand, let it anchor him for the confession he was about to give. “I’ve done a lot of work the last six months, and I think I’ve finally managed to lay Solona to rest. More importantly, I think I’ve finally managed to forgive myself for not being the man she loved anymore.” 

Mara’s fingers tightened, and her eyes fell to their interlocked hands. “Is this different? Or is this just an echo?” 

He wanted to acknowledge every bit of courage that question must have taken for her to ask. Everything with Mara felt different. There was no guilt for moving on, no questioning if this was right. From the moment he had kissed her in that bookstore, he had known that things with her were different. Maybe he’d known it since he first met her. It was far too soon to speak of love, they still had so much to learn and to share, but perhaps in time. It was a risk he wanted to take. “It’s not an echo.” 

He kissed her then, as if to seal it, his fingers still locked with hers, and his other hand cradling her skull. She tasted of her afternoon coffee and sunshine and hope. It was a stubborn sort of hope, clutched tightly like their interlocked hands. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, and he slowly pulled away hoping that there had been enough said in the way he held her, in the way they moved together. 

There was a soft smile on her face. “There’s still plenty to talk about, but I think we better head back downstairs before Barris and Rosalie start getting suspicious.” 

He chuckled. “That’s exactly what I need: my sister coming to try to catch us together.”

Mara pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Yeah, I can see that ending badly.”

Cullen stood, pulling Mara with him, their hands still laced together. “Shall we?”

Mara smiled. “Yeah, and Rutherford?”

“Yeah?” 

“I like you a lot,” she replied. 

He didn’t even bother fighting the grin that broke out across his face. 

***

_ Two Months Later.... _

Mara’s knees were pressed up against a gate, and she was sitting back in a harness, waiting. Her heart was thundering, even as she felt the worker undo the carabiner that was the last bit of redundancy keeping her from falling forward as soon as the gates opened. Cullen was beside her, knuckles white as he held to the straps of his harness. 

She turned to him. “Race you?” 

His laughter was full of nerves. “Like I have a choice!” 

The gate opened and they both went flying forward, the zipline buzzing above her as she flew through the trees. She stretched out both hands, legs flailing as she picked up speed. Her harness turned in the wind, and she caught sight of Cullen laughing as he zipped down on the line beside her. He still held fast to his harness, but he looked like he was having the time of his life too. 

The line came to an end all too quickly, her trolley smashing into the springs with a clapping sound as she came abruptly to a stop. She was caught by a worker, and helped out of her harness. Cullen slammed to a stop a moment later, and he looked relieved to have his feet on solid ground again. 

She looked back up the ski run, to the lift house and the zipline station that sat at the top of the mountain. “We did that!” 

Cullen’s arms came around her. “Yes, and maybe let’s not do that again.”

She laughed. “Was it that bad?”

“You know how I feel about heights,” he replied, but his attention was up at the two people flying down the zipline, and waving to them all the while. 

Mara waved and smiled as they soared over their heads. “I think everyone is having a great time.”

Cullen nodded. “I’m glad. That’s what this is all about.”

Mara was more proud than she had words. Cullen had made contact with one of the local ski resorts in hopes of purchasing a few passes for Elevate House. The owner had a sister that had been SFU and died, and then the owner had invited Cullen to bring everyone from Elevate up to the resort for the weekend. There were ziplines, ropes courses, hiking, and even a pool. Some of Elevate House’s patients had never even been on a family vacation, and so going up the mountains for a few days was a real adventure. 

It was gorgeous where they were. Green trees and the towering of cliffs. There was something about being up there, something that felt different from anywhere else she’d ever been. John Muir wrote about how “going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity” and oh how she felt it as she stared up at the peaks that surrounded them. 

She wrapped her arm around Cullen’s waist. “Where to next, Rutherford?” 

His arm rested across her shoulders. “I think the only thing we haven’t done is the ropes course, isn’t it?” 

Mara nodded. “You want to do it?” 

He laughed. “No.” 

“Oh come on! It’s not that different from rock climbing!” she insisted. 

The ropes course was at the top of a small hill, and to her it looked like an adventure. There was a small gear tent beside it, and there was a worker literally hanging from one of the cables in the middle of the course. It was multi-layered, and it didn’t look that hard. The afternoon sun was finally disappearing behind clouds, and that meant that the summer day had become absolutely pleasant. 

“You’re going to drag me up there whether I like it or not, aren’t you?” he asked. 

She gave his side a squeeze, where she knew he was just the tiniest bit ticklish. “I won’t make you do it if you don’t want to, but I would like to give it a go.”

He sighed and looked over the whole thing. “I guess it doesn’t look that bad.”

“That is just the attitude, go big or go home, Rutherford!” she teased. 

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” he asked. 

Mara laughed. “Probably, but it’ll be fun.”

Cullen gave her a look that told her that said her idea of fun wasn’t quite his idea of fun, but she ignored it as they approached the gear tent. She pulled on a harness, and it was a bit different than what she was used to. It was a full body harness, rather than the waist harness she usually was used to, and the helmet they gave her was not nearly as nice as the one she owned, nor did it have a space for her ponytail. 

Cullen looked a bit uncomfortable; especially since Mia had decided to snap pictures of him in his harness. 

“Why don’t you put your phone down and join us,” Cullen replied as he and Mara walked over to the wooden platform to climb up to the first level. 

Mia laughed, so absurd it was nearly a cackle. “Oh, you couldn’t pay me enough to get up there, but I watched Clara, Liam, and Matthew do it. I’ll get some good pictures of you up there.”

“Be sure to send me any and all pictures where Cullen looks terrified,” Mara said before clipping into her pulley. 

The pulley slid along the cables of the ropes course, and connected to Mara’s harness at her chest. That way, if she managed to fall in any part of the course, she’d only fall as far as the rope connecting her to her pulley. She drug the pulley along with her, sliding it over the shark fins as she ascended the ladder. The pulley moved with a metallic crunch beside her head, and it was more comforting than she anticipated. 

The lower level of the course wasn’t so bad, only about twenty-five feet up and Mara crossed the first element without much issue. It was a wide log and though she didn’t have anything to hold onto beyond her pulley, she crossed it without issue. The next few elements were that way: ladders and rope walls. Nothing too bad. 

Cullen followed behind her, moving with a quick military efficiency. He stubbornly refused to look down, simply moving through each element as he got to it. 

“You’re doing great,” she called as she moved around the wooden platform. The next element she faced was a single thin cable to walk on, with another at shoulder height which required one to lean quite far forward to move along it. 

She took the tentative step forward, arm out to catch herself on the other cable. The wind had picked up a bit, and it made being out on the cable lines a little more terrifying, but not impossible. 

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen said as he moved around the wooden platform to see what Mara was doing. 

Mara inched along the cables slowly, throwing Cullen a smile when she made it to the far platform. “Having fun yet, Rutherford?”

He stepped forward calmly, leaning against the cable. His arms were outstretched to keep him as upright as possible. “Don’t know that this counts as fun.”

She stuck her tongue out as she moved to the next element, another cable to walk across, but this time with free hanging pylons. Before long, they were both at the final platform and faced with a choice. Continue and go up to the fifty five foot level, or call it quits. 

“Up to you,” Mara said. 

Cullen sighed. “You want to.”

“Can’t be worse than the first level, that was easy!” Mara smiled. 

Cullen shook his head. “Lead on, then.”

Mara raised a fist to the air. “Onwards and upwards!” Then there were cheers from Branson, Mia, Rosalie, Barris, and the kids below. In fact, they’d amassed quite the group. She smiled at Cullen. “Come on, let’s give them a show.”

***

It was official, Cullen decided: he hated heights. 

“How am I supposed to do this?” he asked Mara as he stood facing a single cable and nothing else. He was not one of those tight rope walkers, and so why in the void was there nothing else? He was pretty sure this element was missing one of the components. Everything else he’d done so far had something to hold to, or was at least wider than a cable. 

Mara was already two elements ahead, looking like she was about to jump to swinging cages. “Just hold onto your belay rope, and don’t look down,” she replied. 

Easier said than done. It was fine. Or it was going to be. And then the wind picked up. The sky had been steadily growing darker, but he hadn’t paid it much mind, grateful for the reprieve from the blazing hot sun. 

They were up in the mountains, which meant that it was cooler than down in the valley, but it was still the middle of the summer. He took a deep breath, and then it began to rain. 

Things just kept getting better up on that course.

The only way down was to complete the course, and so he grasped the rope that anchored him to the pulley. He held it as close to the cable he was tied into as he dared, hoping for some stability. Then he took a step off the platform. And another. And another. His heart pounding the entire way. And then it was over, and he was standing on the platform on the other side. 

Mara was cheering, and ahead of him he could see her holding tightly to the wood and rope cage. “You did it!”

He had the same feeling he had when she’d taken him rock climbing, and he’d overcome his fear to climb to the top of a wall. He felt like he could conquer anything, including the two cables arranged in an X that was the next element. 

The rain picked up, and soon it was falling hard enough that Cullen kept having to wipe it from his eyes as he moved along the course. He didn’t even register just how cold it was until he crossed the final bridge to the end of the course, and realized he was shivering. 

Mara was huddled over and waiting for him. “We did it! Don’t you feel so badass?”

He stared at her for a moment, this impossible woman who was clearly freezing, but was grinning in the pouring rain and talking about being a badass after finishing what might have been the most terrifying thing he’d willingly subjected himself to. He hugged her then. 

“I love you.” It was the truth, and he’d been thinking it for a while now, worried that it was too soon. He didn’t care anymore though. He loved her, and he wanted her to know it. 

Her voice was quiet. “I love you too.” 

They hugged there for a moment, and then Mara pulled away. “This is real romantic and shit, but I’m freezing to death. You mind if we get down from here?”

He chuckled. He would pick the freezing cold and in the pouring rain to have this moment. “Let’s get off this damn tower.” 

Mara nodded, and then scrambled down the ladder to the ground. It was surprisingly more difficult to navigate going down than up, but he managed it. The small crowd that had amassed to watch them do the course had dispersed, probably in search of somewhere dry and warm. The next thing they had planned for the day was a bonfire that evening, and he hoped that the weather would clear up before then. He and Mara pulled their harnesses off, and began rushing down the hill towards the lodge. 

Mara was shivering beside him, and her teeth were chattering. Cullen couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so cold. 

“It is summer.” Mara managed around shivers once they were finally in the building. “It isn’t allowed to be this damn cold!”

Cullen ran his hands up and down her arms as they waited for the elevator in some vain attempt to warm her. “I know, I know, you hate Ferelden.”

“The weather in Ferelden,” she corrected as an especially violent shiver shook her. The elevator doors opened then, and they rushed inside. 

Perhaps the cold had addled his brain, but he began to laugh. He was still so full of nervous energy, and it seemed to be manifesting in laughter. Mara joined him too, and when the elevator shuddered to a stop they were both pretty much doubled over in. 

“We’ve obviously lost it,” he said as he fumbled with the door key. 

She was still shivering as she hurried into their room. “Obviously.”

“Why don’t you take first shower?” he offered. He was sure that once he discarded his soaking wet clothes he’d warm up quickly. Mara, on the other hand, would need the heat of the shower to have a chance of being warm again. 

They’d been moving carefully around each other since the day before. He’d invited her to come up on the retreat, and since she was volunteering a few times a week she was as much a part of the group as anyone. He hadn’t expected that, but she’d assured him that she needed something to do in the summer or she was likely to go for another master’s degree. She fit so well at Elevate House, and he probably should have seen that coming. They’d spent a handful of nights together not doing much beyond sleeping, and so he’d worried when he’d asked if she wanted to share a room, but she’d said yes without any hesitation. 

Mara had paused in the doorway of the bathroom. “Or…”

“Or?” he held his breath. 

They’d been taking things slow, and they’d both needed that, to be sure as they took each step together. They didn’t have any commitments for the rest of the afternoon, and a part of him hoped she was asking what he thought she was asking. 

“I think that shower is big enough for two, don’t you?” 

He smiled. “Probably.”

Mara took his hand, pulling him along with her into the bathroom. She turned the water on hot, and the room began filling with steam as they both began to peel away their wet clothing. He tried not to watch her like a lecher, but it was difficult to look away. She nearly lost her footing getting out of her jeans, and then she laughed and winked at him as she finally removed her jeans. “So graceful.”

Any retort he had died on his tongue as she removed her shirt, and her bra followed soon after. She was beautiful, and still shivering, arms gathered over her chest. He appreciated that she was able to retain some humor in the situation though. “At least the cold doesn’t make you look less…impressive.”

Her laughter was sudden. “Would you prefer a moment alone?” Her eyes fell to his boxer briefs that were still stuck to him like a second skin. 

“You should get in the shower before you turn into an icicle,” he replied, beginning to slide his boxer briefs down. Mara’s eyes lingered on the newly exposed skin for a moment before she glance away, face a lovely shade of red that had nothing to do with the cold. 

Mara opened the glass shower door, and he stepped over their discarded clothing, taking her hand. “You’re beautiful.”

“And freezing.” She pulled him with her into the hot spray. The water hit him and the cold slowly ebbed away. He tried to remember that he was naked and standing with the woman he was in love with, but the warmth was too distracting for a moment. It seemed that Mara felt the same, eyes closed and face angled out of the spray. Her pale skin was turning pink where the hot water hit her, and he watched the water run down her body in small rivers and streams. Fuck. 

Mara leaned into him, and his arms instinctively wrapped around her. She melted into his arms, and they both stood there for a time, engulfed in the warmth. It was Mara that moved first, twisting in his arms so that she was facing him. She reached a hand up and ran it through the wet tangle of his hair. “It’s curlier when it’s wet.”

He trailed a hand down her spine, feeling each and every notch. “I’m well aware.”

“I like it,” she smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. Her smiles were frequent, but there was one that she reserved just for him. That was the one that graced her lips now, sweet and lovely and full of just a little bit of mischief. 

He moved a strand of hair away from her face. “When I was younger, the other guys in SFU made fun of the curls.”

Mara nodded in understanding. “Ah. Well, I hope you kicked their asses.”

Cullen chuckled. “I should have, instead I just figured out how to tame the curls.”

That smile, his smile, hadn’t faded. “You did, and now so few know about these curls.”

“You do,” he offered, as if that was all that mattered. 

The way she looked at him told him that she appreciated that fact, and then she grasped his shoulders and pulled herself up to kiss him. Cullen would never get over the beautiful collision of them - the way his heart quickened, each breath difficult to come by. He hadn’t missed the way her breasts were pressed against his skin, how aware he was of that contact, how quickly he was responding to her ministrations. Her lips were soft, always were, but there was a consummate gentleness in the way she held him, fingers buried in the hair at the back of his neck. She licked into his mouth, and their tongues twined together. 

He broke away from her lips to kiss down the taut line of her neck, hand falling to cup her breast. Mara pulled him closer, and he wanted to appease her. He’d learned a long time ago that kissing her while standing required some degree of gymnastics. She stretched and he bent, and they tried to meet somewhere in the middle to avoid strained necks and aching backs. Perching her on taller surfaces had become his best move, but there was no such surface in the shower. He pushed her back against the shower wall, in some attempt to steady her as he kissed down lower. 

When her back hit the wall she hissed, and he pulled back immediately. She gave him an apologetic look. “It’s just colder than expected.”

He pressed a quick kiss to her collarbone. “How is it possible for you to still be cold?” 

She flicked water at him from the spray of the shower, and he caught it full in the face leaving him sputtering. “I suppose I deserved that.”

Mara laughed, a hand trailing down his torso. “Yep.”

He returned to kissing her skin, pressing a kiss to the valley between her breasts before circling the tip of one with his tongue. She clung to him as she swayed at the contact, and he steadied her with a hand on her waist. Cullen moved to give the other breast the same attention, and he wasn’t sure but he thought he heard her swear over the roar of the shower. 

As he kissed back up her neck, her head fell back against the wall. His other hand began to drift lower. “Is this okay?” he asked. He’d thought about this, of course he had, but he wanted to make sure she was sure before moving any further. 

She nodded before finding her voice. “Yes.” 

Mara’s hand encircled his cock, holding him gently before pumping him. His hand slapped the shower wall in support as pleasure bloomed. She caught his lips with hers, tugging lightly at his lower lip as her grip on him tightened. A moan escaped him, trapped between their lips. The water wasn’t exactly a lubricant, and after a moment the sharp edges of pleasure faded enough for him to remember his own plan for her. He dragged his fingers lazily up her thigh, dragging his thumb over her hipbone. She shuddered below him when his fingers finally ran along the seam of her, disappearing into the dark curls. 

Mara kissed him hard enough to bruise when his fingers slipped into the wet heat of her, nails digging into his arms as she fought to stay upright. It was Mara that broke away first, sucking in unsteady breaths. Her hand caught his wrist, and he stopped his movements. 

“The only way this ends is with me in the ER,” she said, green eyes blown wide. 

He chuckled as he kissed her. “Continue elsewhere?” 

She smiled against his lips. “Yes.”

***

Mara had really half-assed the whole getting dry after the shower bit, but she really wasn’t sure that she cared. She’d done her best to get her hair as dry as possible, worried that somehow Cullen would get a facefull of wet hair, and wouldn’t that just be the least sexy thing ever? She was quickly rummaging around in her bag for the small package of condoms she’d packed. 

She hadn’t been expecting to be sleeping with Cullen over the course of the weekend retreat, but she figured she’d be prepared anyway. Just in case. And now, she was glad that she was. 

The lodge was charming, all cabin-esque with exposed wood and stone. Their room was large, a living room and kitchen area set off by a half wall from the bedroom which held a huge fluffy bed. 

She had finally managed to find and produce a small foil packet just as Cullen came up behind her. His touch sent a thrill through her. His fingers pushed the hair off of her neck as he peppered light kisses across the curve of her shoulder. 

“You were that sure you were going to get me in bed?” he murmured against her shoulder. 

She turned to face him, running fingers across his broad, muscled chest. “I’m willing to bet you brought some too.”

He laughed, and Mara was always struck by the easy sound of it. He deserved to laugh far more often than he did, really laugh, not just the wry smiles and chuckles he so often offered, but like this, armor and scars stripped away. She pulled him in for a heady kiss that left her dazed. His cock was a hard jut between them, and she was getting impatient. Mara pushed him back so that he sank onto the edge of the bed, and their heights were slightly more aligned. 

Cullen’s hands settled on her waist, but he pulled away. “Are you sure?”

She loved him for asking, for the way his golden eyes roved over her face, searching for any intimation she wasn’t. She was sure. She wanted this, wanted him. 

“Yes. I love you.”

There was a look of awe on his face, and not a little bit of surprise. Mara knew he believed himself hard to love; he worried that he brought too much baggage, too much to work through. They’d spent long nights holding each other and talking through each and every worry and concern. They both had their histories. For Mara, it would never be anything but a privilege to know his, and he hers. She’d been in love with him for a while, but the words had always felt too big on her tongue. Until now, until he had said them first, and then somehow her heart had felt so full it might burst for love of him. 

His eyes were soft. “I love you too.”

She offered him the small foil packet that she held, and he took it without hesitation. She climbed into his lap, tipping his head back to capture is lips. His stubble brushed against her lips, and she held him more tightly, convinced that somehow he might disappear if she let go. His hands spread wide over her back, pulling her closer, and she could taste the urgency on his tongue. 

Slipping a hand between them, she grasped hold of him before sinking down slowly. There was a sharp intake of breath as he trembled beneath her, and her eyes fell shut as she adjusted to the feeling of him. It was exquisite, so much better than what she had imagined. His lips sought hers, and they both began to move. 

Mara believed herself to be very good with words. She had made words her life, populated it with books and with stories. And yet with Cullen she fumbled, grasping at words that wouldn’t quite come. Were there words to describe those soft looks from him? For the reverence in his hands? Words all seemed to fail to capture the complexity, the nuance, the universes contained in moments with him. She always found herself marveling at the courage it must take for him to reach for her and keep reaching after all he had weathered. That despite love lost he still risked his heart, still hoped. 

She tried to memorize the way he felt beneath her, the strong expanse of his body, the meeting of their hips, but pleasure chased every thought out of her head as his fingers brushed her clit. It climbed higher and higher, finally breaking, fingers scrambling for purchase against his skin. Cullen’s arms tightened around her as he flipped them, pushing her back against the soft covers of the bed, hips snapping up into hers. 

His breaths had grown shallower, and his lips pressed frantically down her neck. She scored her nails gently down his back, and his breath rushed out of him at once. With fingers buried in his hair she pulled his lips back to hers, and they crashed together as his rhythm stuttered. Another orgasm danced on the edges of her body, slowly building, and Cullen seemed to sense it, hips speeding up as a hand cupped her breast, running his thumb over her nipple. 

She came with his name on her lips, and he followed quickly after, his body slowly stilling over hers. She brushed the hair from his eyes, still damp from being in the shower. 

“Maker’s breath, you’re beautiful,” he managed, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 

She leaned up to kiss him again. “I love you.”

He cupped her cheeks, thumbs running slowly over them as he kissed her back. “I love you too.” 

And perhaps there were words for this after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves* I hope you enjoyed this update! I've been excited about posting this since I wrote it, and feel like maybe I've finally gotten more comfortable writing smut. Thanks so much for reading, you folks are the best! <3


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elevate House celebrates its first birthday, and some familiar faces come from Denerim to celebrate.

The kitchen at Elevate House was filled to the brim with food. Cupcakes donated by the local bakery stood in perfect, colorful rows, and a matching single layer cake was on a stand beside the sink. There were metal canisters full of hot cocoa in case the Harvestmere day proved chilly. So far it was beautiful, blue and cloudless, the oranges and yellows of the trees standing in stark contrast. It was the perfect day to be celebrating the first birthday of Elevate House. 

Mara was working in the kitchen with Cullen, arranging the food to be taken outside in just a few moments. They’d been at Elevate House since too early in the morning, and had been working to get everything completely prepared. Mara was not a fan of mornings, and Cullen appreciated that she’d sacrificed one of her days to sleep in to be there and help, without complaint, but with plenty of coffee. He needed to find a way to express his thanks, and he had a few ideas for that evening. But first they had to get through the party. 

He glanced out the kitchen window, catching sight of Branson and Matthew hauling a table out of the back of Branson’s truck. He was so grateful for how his family had rallied around him and Elevate House, how much time they had dedicated to helping him make it a success. It hadn’t been just them, it had been everyone, a collective effort. He worried that he should have invited everyone from Denerim. He’d posted the flyer on social media, one that Mara had kindly designed, but that had been all. 

He felt disconnected from all of his friends back in Denerim. Oh they talked every so often, whenever he bothered to log into his social media accounts he could see what they were up to, but he just wasn’t a part of anything happening with them anymore. It’d stung a little, but he reminded himself it was mostly his fault. He’d been the one to move away, after all, and he hadn’t been exactly great about keeping in touch.

Mara nudge him with her hip. “You’re quiet . Everything okay?”

He smiled down at her. She wore a warm reddish orange sweater, and he knew just how soft the sweater was. She was wearing boots that gave her a little extra height, so he kissed her forehead, glad to not have to bend as far. “Just thinking about everything that’s happened in the last year.”

So much had happened, so much had changed. A lot for the better. 

Mara smiled. “Mostly good things, I hope?”

“With you? Always,” he replied. 

She laughed, and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Ever the charmer, Rutherford.”

He joined her laughter. “I doubt anyone would ever call me that, least of all you.” 

She shrugged. “Even you have your moments.”

He ignored her teasing for a moment. “Hey, thank you for coming to help.”

She looked surprised. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

Cullen pulled her closer. He wasn’t sure how to explain how much her presence meant to him. How much it meant to him that she donated what time she had to being there, to being a part of the place that had grown to mean so much to him. “Just, thank you.” 

She pulled back to press a kiss to his lips. “Well, you owe me a lazy morning tomorrow.”

He smiled. “That can certainly be arranged.” Hopefully sans clothing. 

Mara pulled back. “I’ve got to get the food table all set up. It looks like Matthew and Bran have the tables all set up.” 

She picked up the plastic tablecloths on the counter, and smiled over her shoulder. “Today is going to be great.” 

He really believed that it was. 

Barris rushed into the kitchen nearly colliding with Mara in his hurry. “Something wrong?” Cullen asked. 

Barris began searching through drawers in the kitchen. “Band needs another extension cord. I think we’ve got a small one in here.”

Mara’s friend, Jamie, and his band had offered to play the party, and Cullen was still a little taken aback at the offer. Not that he was complaining. Their band was pretty good, made up of a few teachers and a librarian, and they mostly played out of love of music. He’d originally planned on just letting Rosalie go crazy in making a playlist, but this was so much better. 

“Anyone arriving yet?” Cullen asked. 

Delrin nodded. “A few folks. Essa and Garrett arrived with all the mabari dressed in party hats. I’m sure Rosie snapped some pictures of that. I think between the games and the mabari the kids are going to be entertained all afternoon.”

Cullen laughed. Essa and Garrett were the best therapy mabari trainers he knew, and contracting with them had been one of the best decisions he’d made for Elevate House. 

“Now that I would have liked to see,” Cullen replied. 

Delrin laughed. “It was certainly a sight, and Rosie hasn’t stopped talking about how much she wants a mabari too. So we’ll have to look into that.”

Delrin and Rosie had moved in together over the summer, living in an old house on a huge lot of land. It was perfect for Rosie’s photography, which she’d shifted from travel to more families and couples sessions. All of the space had made Cullen a bit jealous, and he started looking for lots at the north end of the valley. He hadn’t mentioned any of it to Mara yet. He was waiting to find the perfect spot, and then maybe she’d want to call it home too. 

Cullen laughed. “I’m not even a little surprised.”

Delrin finally found the short, brown extension cord. “Got it. Okay, I think once I get them this and the food is out, we’re ready to go.” 

And then the families would be arriving, and they’d spend the day celebrating everything they’d accomplished in the last year. It wasn’t just a celebration of Elevate House, it was a celebration of everything each person who had come there had accomplished too. All that they were doing together. 

Cullen picked up a tray of cupcakes. “We better get out there then.”

***

Mara felt like she hadn’t stopped moving all day. Since they were holding the celebration outside, a lot of the set-up had to be left for the day of. It was a little chilly, with autumn in full swing. Mara knew that fall was fleeting in South Reach, and that it was just a matter of time before the chilly mornings turned frosty. Already there was snow dotting the tallest peaks, but for now the trees were a riot of reds and oranges and yellows, and it might just be her favorite. 

She’d stepped away from the party for a moment to grab another memory card from Rosalie’s car. Rosie had been snapping away at everything. Jamie’s band played old rock songs, and the kids had started up some sort of balloon tag game, leaving the lawn games they’d set out pretty much untouched. Several of the kids were crowded around Garrett and Essa, playing with the many mabari on the lawn. 

They’d had a better turnout than they’d expected, and most of the families they worked with were there celebrating. Mara was full of so much pride she didn’t know quite what to do with herself. Cullen had built something so desperately needed, and the swelling of support was proof of that. 

“Well. This is quite the event,” came a quiet voice from the sidewalk. 

Mara had the memory card in hand, and was just locking up Rosie’s car. The woman who spoke to her looked vaguely familiar, and Mara had the feeling that she should know who she was. There was a force about her, and Mara would have been more nervous but for the kindness in her blue eyes. Her auburn hair tumbled down her back in soft waves, and though the soft grey sweater she wore was easily two sizes too big and, Mara suspected, not her own, somehow it worked, contrasting nicely with her fitted jeans and riding boots.   
Mara stepped up from the road back to the sidewalk. “It is. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here.”

The woman’s eyes sparkled, and a wry smile graced her lips. “No, you wouldn’t have. Do you work here?” 

Mara turned back to look at the house and the groups of people crowded around it. There seemed to be a large group arriving, but Mara wasn’t sure she knew any of them. “I know the owner, and I volunteer here a bit when I can. They’re doing a lot of good. Not sure I’m actually helping, but I like to be here.”

“I’m sure you are,” the newcomer replied, her tone offering a reassurance Mara was oddly appreciative of. “And I have a feeling you help more than you think. What exactly do they do here?” the woman replied. 

Mara wasn’t sure what on earth would give the stranger the impression that Mara was particularly helpful one way or the other. She did notice that the other woman toyed with a golden locket around her neck, but she would bet money that it was a gesture born out of comfortable habit rather than any sort of nervous twitch.

“Um, it’s a resource center for lyrium addicts and ex-SFU soldiers. But it’s so much more than that. People come here and too often they have nothing, and nowhere to go. They get clean, and then they get help getting jobs and trying to figure out how to navigate society after everything they’ve seen. Some of them have already been trying on their own for years, and their families have been struggling to deal with all of it. Here, they don’t have to hide. There’s love and understanding,” Mara was sure she was mangling the whole mission statement and all that, but the good done wasn’t a collection of words on a website. It was the proof that she saw in front of her, the progression and change. And hope. 

“You sound very passionate for someone who just volunteers a bit.”

Mara nodded. “I’m a teacher, so I have the summers off and I’m here more. During the school year it’s tricky.” 

The woman offered a lilting half smile. “Of that, I have no doubt. Though it must be difficult to be around all of this on a regular basis.” 

“Sometimes, it’s an emotional labor to be here. Not that much different from teaching. I don’t ever get to walk away from my desk like some people do with their jobs, but I think it’s worth it,” Mara replied. 

“Mara! Mara!” Aspen, one of the patient’s kids, ran up to them. She was clutching her orange balloon tightly, worried it might float away. Her brown hair bobbed as she ran. 

Mara dropped down to one knee. “What’s wrong?” 

Aspen extended her small fist with the balloon string clench tightly within it. “My balloon came untied. Will you tie it for me?” 

“Well, we can’t have it flying away can we?” Mara smiled. 

“Double-knot it?” Aspen asked. 

Mara obliged. “Alright, you’re set.” Mara had barely finished with the knot before Aspen had taken off, shouting a thanks over her shoulder. 

Mara stood back up, and the woman she’d been conversing with was smiling a bit wider. “Do all the kids love you?” 

Mara laughed. “No, but I do always know where the chocolate is stashed in the kitchen.”

“Probably the most important thing to know.” 

Mara didn’t know who this woman was, but she decided to go right ahead and like her then. 

“What do you think the future looks like for Elevate?” she asked, nodding her head in the direction of the house. 

Mara felt as if it was a question better suited for a boardroom than standing on the sidewalk, but she answered anyway. “Expansion. At least enough to get medical services on site. Right now we contract with a local rehab clinic for the initial withdrawal, and they’re great, but they’re not Elevate. I think that’s Cullen’s next project he wants to tackle.” 

The other woman nodded thoughtfully. “It makes sense,” she murmured, almost to herself before she returned her attention to Mara. “And your future here?” 

Mara laughed. “I’m here as long as they’ll have me. The Rutherfords are a unit, you get one and you get all of them. It’s nice to feel part of something.” 

That half smile was back on the woman’s face. “I imagine so.”

“Speaking of, I promised Rosie I’d get her this memory card, but I hope you enjoy the festivities,” Mara said, realizing Rosie would likely be cross if she ran out of memory and Mara wasn’t there with the new card. 

The woman nodded. “I’m sure I’ll see you around this afternoon.”

Mara smiled in response. It wasn’t lost on her that the woman had asked her plenty of questions and not offered up a single thing about herself, and that seemed more than a little odd. Mara stepped over leaves that littered the green grass, noticing the huge Qunari and Cassandra talking to Cullen and then it hit her. 

That woman had been Thea Trevelyan. 

***

The party was in full swing, and parties had never been his strong suit, but this one was different. It was a celebration of so many things and so many people close to him. He was glad to be there, glad to be talking with the people who loved Elevate House like he did, glad to be laughing with the therapists and counselors that spent so much of their energy there. The success of Elevate House was as much theirs as his, and it was nice to just spend a day celebrating that. 

Jamie’s band played music and the crowd listened and chatted while the kids played balloon tag. There were people coming up the long cement driveway; he’d seen them out of the corner of his eye. He’d made an effort to greet everyone who had come, and so he turned to navigate around the small groups of people talking and laughing. Then he realized who the group was and he froze. 

Cat and Nathaniel were at the head of the group, with Dorian and Bull not far behind them. Cassandra and Varric were bickering as they walked, and Cullen didn’t even need to hear them to know that. Sera, Dagna, Thom, Josie, and even Leliana. Bringing up the rear and just a bit apart from the rest of the group was Loghain, and that meant….he glanced around for Thea, caught a flash of red hair near the sidewalk. She was talking with Mara because of course she was. He was worried about that, more than a little worried if he was being honest, but he set that aside for the moment, instead focusing on the knowledge that his friends had come. All of them there in South Reach. For him. 

The emotions of the day threatened to spill over then, and he had to clear his throat as a broad smile broke out across his face. 

“I’m going to pretend not to be offended that I didn’t receive a personalized invitation,” Dorian scowled at him. 

Cullen couldn’t help but laugh. “I didn’t realize you’d want to come.” 

Cat pulled him into a hug. “Of course we did, Cullen.” 

“The place looks great,” Nathaniel said, looking over the house. 

“I was promised there would be cupcakes, Cully,” Sera said, before he hugged her. 

“There’s an entire dessert table,” he promised. 

The elf whooped loudly before taking Dagna’s hand and running toward the table. “Good to see you Cullen,” Dagna called as they ran. 

“So good to see you Cullen,” Josie grinned, and she was standing a little closer to Thom than he’d expected. There would be time to ask about that later he supposed. He greeted Thom and Leliana, and then finally stretched out a hand to Loghain. 

“Welcome back to Ferelden,” Cullen said. 

Loghain looked a little surprised, but accepted Cullen’s hand anyway. “Thank you,” he replied carefully. “I understand there are congratulations in order.”

Thea had made her way over to them, her smile bright and easy as her hand brushed Loghain’s arm. “Damn right there are.”

Cullen didn’t hesitate to hug her, and he knew that she was likely more than a little responsible for everyone arriving. Maker, it was good to see her. She looked so happy, and that made him happier than he realized it would. 

“Everything looks wonderful,” Thea said as he pulled away. 

He smiled. “Thank you. You want to tell me what all that was about on the sidewalk?” 

Thea raised her brows and gave him a small shrug, her smile just this side of innocent. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to everyone?” 

So that was how it was going to be. He turned and led his friends to where his family and everyone else was looking on with curiosity. Mia immediately came over to greet Thea, and it was her movement that seemed to break whatever tension had hung in the air. 

Cullen broke away for a moment, to where Mara stood with Rosie, her camera clicking away. “Hey, I’d like you to meet some people.”

Mara winced. “I sort of already met Thea, and I didn’t realize it was her.” 

Cullen chuckled. “Yes, I think that was exactly what she’d intended.” 

“I feel like an idiot,” Mara replied. 

Cullen caught her hand. “Don’t. Will you come with me?” 

Mara took a steadying breath and nodded, and then he led her over to the group. They were still mostly together, but beginning to mingle with his family and the others gathered for the celebration. Except for Sera and Dagna who were running around with the kids, of course. 

Cullen knew the moment that Mara realized everyone’s eyes had fallen on her because her hold on his hand tightened. He gave what he hoped to be a reassuring squeeze in return. “Everyone, this is Mara.” 

Mara offered them all a smile, and a brief wave. “Hi, although I’ve already met you.” She gestured to Thea whose fingers were interlocked with Loghain’s. Cullen’s chest tightened a bit, and he worried for a moment that this meeting might not go very well. 

“I apologize if I was less than forthcoming, kitten,” Thea offered her the small half smile she seemed to favor, “I simply wanted five minutes of your time before you decided whether or not you hated me.”

Mara shook her head and looked rather incredulous. “I don’t hate you, but I understand why you might think I would. My hate is always reserved for people who truly deserve it. Like people who talk to me before coffee.” 

Thea laughed, actually laughed at that. “Yes, well… I may know something about that. Ask Loghain sometime how many complete sentences he gets before I’ve had my first cup of the day. You know, we recently started importing this Rivaini blend that I am just gone for. I’ll send some your way.” 

“Oh, thank you. My affections are pretty easy to buy when it comes to coffee,” Mara said. 

Cullen laughed. “It’s true.” 

Dorian moved forward then. “I understand you’re the one who made that beautiful social media announcement for this.” 

Mara nodded. “You must be Dorian. I’ve been trying to figure out the font you used on the website for ages.”

Dorian laughed and pulled her away from the group. “My dear, I designed that font myself.” 

Satisfied that Mara was going to be okay on her own, Cullen turned to Thea. “Would you like the grand tour?” 

Thea smiled, something she seemed to be doing an awful lot of now. “Absolutely.” 

“It’s a beautiful house,” Thea commented as they reached the front door. 

Cullen held the front door open for her. “Wait till you see the rest of it, you’ll see why I kept it.”

Thea appreciated each and every bit of character the old house had, and it made him happy. They talked a little about the work being done, and what the future plans were, and he’d forgotten how quickly she could slip that business mask into place, even if this was the first time in a long while that he had been on the other side of it. 

They found themselves back in the kitchen, and Cullen was about to suggest that they rejoin everyone outside when Thea spoke. “Are you happy, Cullen?”

She always had been direct, when she’d had a mind to be. He leaned back against the counter, and glanced out the window. Mara was having a lively conversation with Varric, and she looked so excited he knew they had to be talking about books. It had happened slowly, the healing, the building of his new life. He’d questioned once, if his happiest days were behind him. He didn’t question that now. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty damn close. “Yes, I really am. I don’t think I need to ask you the same, I can tell.” 

Thea’s answering smile was brilliant, and her hand went to the locket around her neck as she leaned against the counter beside him, gazing out over the yard and the people gathered there. “I am. That man is absolutely impossible, but then,” she laughed quietly, “So am I. And I am hopelessly in love with him. Mara is absolutely lovely by the way. I just adore her already, and it is obvious she is crazy about you. I can see that she has become a part of this place, too.” 

“I love her,” he said, and wasn’t that the miracle of it all? That there was still love and hope and happiness to be had after everything. Mara was so much more than he ever deserved, and he thanked the Maker every day that he’d ran into her that morning in that coffee shop. 

“I know, Cull,” Thea offered him a quiet smile, “And I am so glad you found her.” 

By the Maker, he was too. 

***

The party was winding down. All of the kids had tuckered out about fifteen minutes ago, and the band was beginning to pack up. The weather had stayed beautiful, but there was a slight breeze beginning to pick up as the sun sank lower in the afternoon sky. Mara had been talking to Rosie and Thea, and Mara didn’t know Thea hardly at all, but she seemed to be perpetually surprised by Rosie’s kindness towards her. Mara wasn’t the least bit surprised, but she supposed to she could understand why Thea would have questioned it. 

Mara had spent most of the afternoon getting to know to Cullen’s friends. She and Dorian had hit it off immediately, and Varric was an actual published author. Cat and Nathaniel had been lovely, as had Josie and Thom. She still wasn’t completely sure about Leliana, but Sera and Dagna had made her feel as though that was normal. She hadn’t gotten as much time to talk to Cassandra as she would have liked, but it was hard with so many people to try to get to know at once. Bull had promised that they’d come visit more often, and Mara had promised for both she and Cullen to make it up to Denerim at some point. 

Barris called over to Rosie, and she excused herself for a moment, leaving Mara alone with Thea. It wasn’t so much that Mara minded being with the woman, but Rosie had been a good buffer. And Thea was intimidating. 

Mara was at a loss for something to say, but thankfully, Thea wasn’t. “Remind me again, what grades do you teach?” 

Teaching. This was a subject she could do. “High school. Eleventh grade mostly. I’ve got a senior class and newspaper as well.”

“I am not sure how you manage to put up with teenagers all day,” Thea replied. 

Mara smiled. “They’re not so bad.” 

Thea laughed. “Understatement?” 

“Not really. They can be very sweet, and despite all teenagers being depicted as always awful, they have their moments of being truly wonderful,” Mara explained. 

“You love your job,” Thea said. It wasn’t a question. 

Mara nodded. “Well, I certainly don’t get paid enough to do it if I didn’t.” 

“No I can’t imagine you do,” Thea said, shaking her head slightly, “Which is an absolute crime. I have a great deal of respect for teachers, especially ones like you who care so much.” 

Mara looked out at the few families still there. It was mostly the Rutherfords and Cullen’s friends from Denerim at this point, and she smiled. “Found family or not, I’m not sure Tolstoy got it right.”

Mara appreciated that Thea didn’t even skip a beat. “What, that all happy families are alike?” 

“There’s something special here,” Mara said. 

Thea’s answering smile was soft. “Yes, I think there certainly is.” 

There was a brief lull in the conversation, and then Mara asked, “Was it difficult, that not everyone supported your decision to be with Loghain?” She worried that she was overstepping her bounds. Cullen had mentioned that the whole affair had ruffled more than a few feathers back in Denerim. 

Her boldness was rewarded with a thoughtful look from Thea before she replied. “At times, but I do not regret my decision, if that is what you are asking. I did not give much of a damn about what the strangers said, and very few dared to say anything to my face, given who I am.” She sighed. “Most don’t know the whole truth anyways. I’m at the advantage because I do. I am not sure how much Cullen has told you, but… well, it was a lot harder trying to explain things to the people I care about. Especially given the fact that I’d been keeping a lot of secrets I probably shouldn’t have been. And then Loghain and I both spent three years trying to pretend...” She shook her head. “Anyways. Why do you ask?”

Mara glanced away from Thea. “I haven’t told my father...yet.”

“About Cullen?” Thea asked. 

Mara chuckled. This whole thing was ridiculous. She was talking to her boyfriend’s ex-wife about telling her father about her boyfriend. It was out of a bad novel or something. “Oh he knows about Cullen. He just doesn’t know the whole truth as you put it. Like how Cullen isn’t an elf.”

“Is he one to care much about that?”

Mara shrugged. “Probably. He’s coming out to visit in two weeks. I’m sort of wondering if I shouldn’t tell him at all, just let him meet Cullen.”

Thea gave her a small smile. “Now that, I’d like to see.” 

“Feel free to come with us to pick him up at the airport. I’m sure he wouldn’t find it odd at all,” Mara said. 

And then they were both laughing, and Mara was glad that they could find some ridiculousness in their situation. Perhaps it would look odd to anyone on the outside, but it was like Thea had said: they had the advantage of knowing the whole truth. 

Jamie came over the mic, guitar in hand. “This is going to be the last song. It’s a slow one, so grab whomever you love, and make sure they know it.” Jamie winked at her as she shook her head. Loghain had drifted over to where she and Thea were talking, and Mara could see the way he looked at Thea as he gently took her hand: it was like she was the only person that existed. And she was not in the least surprised to see Thea looking at him exactly the same way. 

“Enjoy,” she smiled to both of them, stepping away to begin cleaning up the dessert table. It looked as if there had been an absolute massacre, but there were a few cupcakes still sitting there. So at least they hadn’t run out. She could hear the chords on Jamie’s guitar pluck away at a familiar tune. 

Barris and Rosie were already pressed together, and other folks started to join them. Bran was dancing with Henry and Mia’s daughter, Clara. Mara had tried to make sure that Cullen had plenty of time with his friends, taking over as many of his responsibilities as she could. 

Cullen appeared beside her, as if her thoughts had summoned him. “I think that could probably wait a few minutes.” 

“It could, but if I don’t do it, someone else will,” she gave him a meaningful look. The someone else would likely be him. 

He chuckled. “Fair enough. How about you keep me preoccupied?” 

“And how might I ever do that?” 

He held out his hand. “Dance with me.” 

They’d danced before, in the rain once, and many times in their kitchens while cooking dinner. She had a habit of playing music when she cooked, and Cullen knew exactly how to take advantage of that. “Alright.”

He took her into his arms and it was much less dancing than it was swaying, but she didn’t care. “So, did today live up to your expectations?” 

His golden eyes were bright when he glanced down at her after sweeping over the scene around him. “I didn’t expect them to come.” 

She knew that. She knew that he believed himself to be too disconnected from his life in Denerim. He’d left, and somehow he believed that to be some sort of punishable offense. It wasn’t, and now he knew that. 

“You know, you’ve got an awful lot of people that love you, Cullen,” Mara said, hand resting on his cheek. She wanted him to believe it. To know it. 

He turned his face to kiss her palm. “So I’m finding.” His voice was filled with awe, and she couldn’t believe he didn’t realize it before. 

“I love you,” she said. 

She would never tire of the way he looked at her when she said those three words. “I love you too.” 

“Kiss her already!” came a voice behind him, and Mara peeked around his body to see Sera grinning at the pair of them. 

“You first,” Cullen teased. 

Dagna was beaming up at Sera. “Let’s show them how it’s done.”

“Cully wouldn’t know,” Sera replied before kissing Dagna. 

Bull made a terrifyingly loud whooping noise, and Sera made a lewd gesture in response. Cullen had cupped Mara’s cheek though, his hand gentle as he tipped her face up to hers. His lips met hers, and there was no where else she would rather be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, the last officially planned part of this story. I've got an epilogue, but I'm going to hold off on posting it because Chat and I have some Satinalia shenanigans to write and post. And then epilogue after that. Thanks so much to those of you who have read and put up with more of this silliness from me. It's been so much fun to share this with you! <3


	5. Those Who Share Our Broken Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My half of a Satinalia collaboration with Lechatrouge, who very kindly edited her amazing OC Thea. Chat always starts her chapters off with some song lyrics, and so I opted to do the same since this is a companion piece. Be sure to check the tumblr links to read her half as well <3

__Like the petals in our pockets  
May we remember who we are  
Unconditionally cared for  
By those who share our broken hearts

\- "Snow" by Sleeping at Last

Mara had never been to a city quite like Denerim. Downtown Wycome didn’t even count, and Kirkwall was far too sprawling. Denerim was compact, everything had sprung up along the shoreline and the river, and when they arrived it was gray and perfect. 

Cullen had whisked her away as soon as the bell rang on the last day before school break. It had been a weird half day schedule, and school had gone right up to two days before the holiday. At least she had two blessed weeks off. 

Satinalia was a much bigger deal in Ferelden, and she’d sort of celebrated the holiday in her youth, more because other folks were than any real conviction on her parent’s part. She made sure that her father received a package of chocolate covered orange sticks and she always called, but it was not a holiday that necessitated more than that. It was different for Cullen, and she didn’t mind that at all. 

Cullen had made sure that Elevate House was decked out and festive. They’d had a big holiday party and despite their trip to Denerim, Cullen had made sure that there was plenty going on at Elevate House over the holiday. The holidays could be a particularly difficult time, and after the main festivities at Mia’s she and Cullen planned to spend the evening there. But for now, they were in Denerim. 

Their hotel was in the heart of downtown, and she could see the winding river heading out to the sea from the window. It hadn’t snowed yet, but the clouds were dark enough to threaten it. In the gray day, the river was a deep teal color, and Mara could see people and cars moving below her. The whole place just emitted this sense of life and movement. It wasn’t very late, but the trees were all lit up, glowing from their boxes in the middle of the sidewalks. 

Cullen came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her as he pressed a kiss to her hair. “What do you think?” 

“It’s beautiful,” she replied. 

“There’s no place quite like Denerim during Satinalia,” Cullen said. 

She believed it, and was still a little taken back at how much Cullen had wanted to bring her here. She suspected part of it was also that there was a Satinalia party at Thea’s tomorrow too, and he’d get the chance to see his friends. She wasn’t exactly nervous for it, but she did feel a little bit anxious. She’d met everyone already, and she liked them all. She just wanted them to continue to like her, Thea especially. 

“Do you want to go exploring?” Cullen asked. 

Mara nodded. “Yes, please.”

They both bundled up because the breeze coming off the sea was brutal, and in just a few minutes they were out braving the cold. Their gloved hands were clutched together, and Mara was grateful that Cullen knew his way around. Most of the time, her head was tilted up staring up at the towering buildings they passed. One of them looked like a giant champagne bottle peeking up out of ice, the spire glinted gold even in the low light. Other buildings were pieces of art, designs carved out of their stone faces, and still others were gleaming towers of steel and glass. Mara had this absurd notion that if she wasn’t looking at everything as they walked, she might somehow miss something incredible. 

“It’s a good thing I’m here,” Cullen chuckled, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“Why do you say that?” 

She seemed to be floating back down to the sidewalk level as she turned to look at him. His golden eyes bright were bright with amusement, and the scar on his lip pulled as he smiled. “Because you’d walk right into the road or people if it meant you could stare up at the buildings the whole time.”

Ahead of them, a train roared by on the elevated. “It just seems to go on forever.” 

She knew it wasn’t true, of course, but it seemed that way standing on that street corner and staring down the road that was bordered by skyscrapers as far as she could see. It made her feel incredibly small and insignificant, but not in a foreboding ominous sort of way. No, it was more out of a sense of awe. That the world could be so big, and so full of people and life, and that she was just one person within it. 

“Look,” Cullen pointed across the street. There was a small square in the shadow of an enormous building. There were wooden booths all arranged in long rows. The edges of the booths were lined with green garlands and the roofs were covered in red and white canvas. People were perusing the shops and the air was thick with the smell of cinnamon and vanilla. 

“What is that?” Mara asked. 

“It’s an annual Satinalia market. Do you want to check it out?” 

“Yes, please.” They waited for the signal to change before they crossed the street, and found themselves moving along in the ebb and swell of people through the booths. Most of the booths seemed to be selling glass ornaments, and they glinted in the light. Some of them were Denerim specific, the skyline covered in snow. Some booths had beautiful woodcarvings too, Mara was eyeing a particularly intricate wooden dragon when Cullen whispered he’d be right back. 

She was looking into a booth of beautiful wooden cuckoo clocks when Cullen reappeared, handing her a steaming stoneware mug. “What is this?” 

“Ferelden hot cocoa,” Cullen replied. 

The mug was red and yellow with stars and snowflakes around the whole thing. “Thank you.”

She took a tentative sip, worried it might be too hot, but it was the perfect temperature, and also the richest hot cocoa she had ever had. No wonder the mug was as small as it was. 

“The mug is yours to keep too,” Cullen said. 

She laughed. “My first Denerim souvenir!”

Cullen joined her, wrapping an arm around her. “Sure, unless there’s something you have to have here at the market.”

“I think I’m okay,” Mara replied. It was all lovely, but she definitely didn’t need anything. 

“Shall we continue on then?” Cullen asked. 

Mara linked her arm with his. “Where to next, Mr. Tour Guide?” 

Surprisingly, Cullen didn’t roll his eyes. “This way.”

***

Fitzgerald wrote in  _ The Great Gatsby:  _ “It is invariably saddening to look through new eyes at things upon which you have expended your own powers of adjustment.” Cullen couldn’t get that quote out of his head as they had traveled to Denerim, worried that somehow everything he loved there might not be the same in bringing Mara to see it. He worried that she might not find that same magic he had, but then they’d entered the city. Mara’s green eyes had been wide open ever since, taking in everything, a look a supreme awe gracing her lovely features. It was like looking back into his own years. Fitzgerald had been wrong.

Cullen still remembered that first Satinalia in Denerim. He was still fresh out of the SFU, and he’d signed on to work most of the holiday. Someone had to, and he figured it ought not to be someone who actually wanted to be home for the holiday. His withdrawals had been hitting him hard, and it certainly wasn’t the first Satinalia he’d missed. He’d promised to go out for a weekend around First Day to appease Mia, and he hadn’t regretted it at first. He still remembered working late on Satinalia Eve, and finally being able to call it a day. The trains were running an abbreviated schedule, and the next wasn’t for a full half hour. He’d decided to walk instead. Denerim was frigid at best in the winter, but there was a storm moving in, promising a white Satinalia, so it’d been a bit warmer. 

He hadn’t been in the city long, and that was the first time he’d really taken a moment to look around him. Denerim had been a place to land, and the distance from his siblings had been welcome at first. But Cullen remembered that evening had been one of the loneliest he’d ever felt. There must have been some degree of magic in the air because he remembered that it had started to snow, and he’d turned the corner to find one of the older chantries in the city, it’s sprawling gardens a glowing rainbow. Each tree had been wrapped all the way out to the tiniest branches, and the whole place looked exactly like Satinalia should. That was the moment he’d found the beauty in Denerim, and he wasn’t sure how to put that into words, how to explain all of those complicated feelings to the woman whose hand he currently held. 

It was much colder that night than it had been all those years ago, and the awe had worn off a bit. Mara was pointing out different buildings and architecture that had caught her eye. He’d been half listening, caught in memories. 

They were walking along the river as the sun set, and above them the skyscrapers were blinking to life. There weren’t many on the river due to the cold, and Mara stopped walking. “Hey, you with me?” 

“Yes,” he replied. “Sorry, I was…” He didn’t have words to explain where he was, or what he’d been thinking about. 

Mara waited, always patient, never pushing. 

“I was thinking about my first Satinalia in Denerim,” he explained. It wasn’t quite the full explanation, but it was perhaps a start. 

They started walking again. “That would have been not long after you moved here?”

“About a month and a half. I didn’t go to South Reach that year, stuck around here alone.” 

Mara gave his hand a squeeze. “And now I know why Mia was so adamant we be there for Satinalia. You’ve got a bad track record.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You have no idea.” 

“Off topic. You were alone in the city on Satinalia,” Mara offered. 

“Satinalia Eve,” Cullen corrected. “I had plenty of invitations, but none of them really felt right. I should have been in South Reach, but part of me was convinced that I wasn’t the brother my siblings needed at that point.” 

Mara nodded in understanding, blonde hair bouncing from under the hat she wore to shield her ears from the cold. “They just needed you, regardless, you know that, right?”

He brought her hand up to his lips, pressed a kiss across her gloved knuckles. “I know that now, but then…”

He’d wandered the city looking for meaning. He hadn’t found it, not exactly, but he had discovered some beauty, some magic in the cold Satinalia air. That was why he’d wanted to bring Mara here, show her some of what he’d found. And he’d worried that somehow, none of it would actually be in the air. 

They’d reached the end of the riverwalk, and having crested the stairs he knew exactly where they were. He hadn’t planned it, hadn’t walked the river in so long he didn’t remember where it let out. Across the street stood that same chantry he’d come across, and the gardens were somehow brighter, more beautiful than he remembered. 

“Whoa,” Mara said. “They really know how to go all out, don’t they?” 

“They certainly do.”

There were people walking around the garden square, snapping pictures and looking at the gorgeous trees. “Can we walk around it?” 

There was enough excitement in her voice that surprised him. He found himself loving her more and more as he watched her wander the city he’d called his home. “Of course.” 

***

Mara shifted the presents she was carrying from one hand to the other as she adjusted her black dress. She’d taken a bit longer to get ready than she usual, and she was sure that Cullen had noticed, especially since they’d been sharing a rather small hotel bathroom. She was feeling woefully unprepared for the evening. More so now that she was now looking at Thea’s house, and at the place Cullen had called home for two years. 

The place was massive, and utterly secluded. Mara could hear the crash of the ocean in the background too. The large picture windows glowed invitingly, and the the place was lit from top to bottom for Satinalia. 

“This is...you lived here?” she turned to Cullen. 

He nodded. “Yes.” The fact was as casual a thing to him as her tiny apartment back in South Reach, her mostly empty apartment. They hadn’t officially moved in together, but they were slowly migrating the things of hers they wanted to keep to his apartment. Her lease was up in a week, and so it had made sense. 

But Mara stared at the house. “And there’s a loft too?” 

“Yes,” Cullen replied pointing down the road. “Just that way, and where we’re staying tonight.” 

“Is Thea accepting applications for sisterwives? Because I’m in,” Mara said as they walked toward the house. Her voice came out a little shakier than she’d intended, and Cullen wound his free arm around her waist. 

“You look great, by the way,” he whispered. 

He’d said as much before they’d left the hotel as he’d done up the last bit of her zipper, but not before kissing his way up her neck. “Thank you.” 

“No, thank you for agreeing to come to my ex-wife’s Satinalia Eve party,” Cullen said, chuckling at the ridiculousness of the words. 

Mara had to admit the whole thing was just a tad ridiculous for anyone who didn’t understand, and she’d gotten her fair share of odd looks when she’d told acquaintances what they were doing in Denerim. 

The front door was open, and Sera and Dagna were out in the snow, and probably up to no good. Cullen offered them a quick hello before ushering Mara inside. “Sera’s got wicked good aim, but she wouldn’t dare track snow through the house.”

Mara laughed. “So you’re saying we’re safe in here?” 

“From snow at least,” Cullen smiled. 

Mara brushed a few flakes of snow off the shoulders of his navy sweater, and they added their presents to the growing pile under the tree. 

“I think our best bet is the kitchen,” Cullen said, leading her through the house. She wasn’t sure what it must be like for him, to be in the place that was his home, but wasn’t any longer. If he was bothered by it, he wasn’t saying. 

Mara shook her head, this was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Then she was sure she could hear voices in the kitchen talking about coffee, and Cullen chuckled quietly from the doorway. “Alright, I have to ask. How  _ exactly  _ are you still alive? She takes her coffee  _ very _ seriously.”

“You say that as if it were a bad thing?” Mara shot Cullen a playfully distrustful look, but smiled as she caught sight of Thea and Loghain in the kitchen. “Hey Thea, they cutting you off?” 

“Apparently.” Thea looked more amused than truly annoyed, and Mara realized that she looked just the tiniest bit frazzled. Maybe she hadn’t been the only one a little nervous for the party? “I swear, you go through a few pots and they act as though you need a stint in rehab.”

Mara nodded while Loghain and Cullen exchanged a knowing look. “Utterly unfair.” 

She hid her surprise when Thea pulled her into a hug, and thanked whatever Gods might be listening that things had never been anything but easy for her with Thea and Loghain. 

“Come on.” Thea linked their arms. “I’ve been banished from the kitchen so we may as well go see if there are any other last minute tasks I can finish elsewhere-”

“Don’t you dare, woman,” came Loghain’s response. It was so automatic she had to stifle a laugh. “Mara, would you kindly see that she actually sits down? And would you care for some tea?”

Like she would be able to keep Thea from doing anything she absolutely didn’t want to do. “Please. I mean it’s not coffee, but I guess it will have to do.”

***

Cullen had spent the better part of the last hour catching up with Cassandra and Bull, but keeping an eye on Mara just in case. She had spent plenty of time with Dorian, and was now talking Varric, and he supposed he shouldn’t really be surprised. He didn’t want to have brought Mara along only to abandon her, but she was definitely holding her own. 

It still astounded him how easily everyone from his life had just welcomed her in, and made her part of everything. He shouldn’t be surprised; they’d welcomed him, and Mara was a void of a lot easier to like. 

Cullen thought that it might be difficult to be back in the house he’d once called home, but it wasn’t. It sort of felt like returning to his parent’s home after he’d moved out. There was some nostalgia connected to it, but it wasn’t his anymore. And maybe it never had been quite his anyway because it had always been Thea’s: she had built it before they even met. He missed the space, and was pretty sure he’d found the perfect lot to build on in South Reach. He was still waiting to hear back from his real estate agent. 

Thea came over, offering him an easy smile. Her smiles were far more frequent these days, and he didn’t even have to see her often to know that. “Haven’t had much of a chance to chat, have we?” 

“Not really, but I see congratulations are in order,” Cullen gave a subtle nod toward the ring on her left hand. She couldn’t have been married long, he’d only seen her a month ago and no one else had mentioned it, meaning they didn’t know. Thea was good at keeping secrets, but she wasn’t exactly hiding this. “How long? A few days?” 

She studied him for a moment, her expression unreadable. Finally, she just shook her head with a small smile and looked at her phone.  “Let’s see… about ten hours.” 

Cullen laughed then, not surprised in the least. “Not even a full day. Congratulations!” He meant it too. He was happy for her, and happy that she was so happy. There was a measure of relief there too. It wasn’t a competition, and they certainly didn’t need each other’s permission to move on with their lives, but it did feel a little bit like he was now free to take the next step with Mara. They hadn’t told anyone about their plans to move in together, and it was in some effort to be sensitive to their situation. But Thea had gone and gotten married in the morning on Satinalia Eve, and wasn’t that just fitting? 

“Thank you,” Thea said. “We did not want to make a big deal out of it, or make any sort of big announcement, but neither are we terribly inclined to hide it.”

“And you shouldn’t. I’m happy for you. Every time I see you you’re even happier,” Cullen said. 

He thought it might sting, knowing he’d never been able to make her quite this happy. It didn’t. 

Thea made a good show of looking annoyed. “It’s ruining my damn reputation is what it is. And what about you? You know there’s a pool right?”

Cullen laughed. “And you’re trying to get insider information?” 

“Now kitten,” she gave him a half smile, “That would be cheating.” 

Cullen laughed. “She’s moving in. Her lease is up, and it made sense. I worried it was a little fast or that we should keep it quiet, but I think it’s a nonissue.”

Thea crossed her arms and looked slightly exasperated. “Why would you think you needed to keep that quiet?” 

She had to know, had to understand. There were probably a myriad of reasons that she and Loghain hadn’t made an announcement, and he was sure that there was some concern for him tangled up in there. They were moving so carefully around each other, and Cullen wondered if that might end up doing more damage. 

“I know you’ve got all your own reasons for not having announced your impromptu wedding, but can you honestly tell me that not a single one of them had to do with being sensitive to Mara and I?” Cullen asked. 

She glared at him for a moment, then sighed. “You’ve got a point,” Thea replied reluctantly. 

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s kind of odd isn’t it, how much we worry about wounding the other, when it’s unnecessary.”

Thea gazed out at the friends and family gathered together. “A year ago, did you think we’d ever be here?”

Cullen’s eyes fell on Mara, who was smiling and laughing with Varric, and he was pretty sure Thea’s eyes had fallen on her husband. Cullen smiled. “No, but it’s much better than anything I could have imagined.”

“Me either, but I’m so glad.” Thea touched his arm softly as she moved away from him, and over to where Loghain stood talking with Nate. Cullen wasn’t alone long; Dorian was there in a moment arms crossed. 

“I understand from Mara that you’ve been in Denerim for two whole days, and I’m just now seeing you,” Dorian said. 

Cullen had come to understand the indignation was Dorian’s way of expressing affection. “I wanted to show Mara the city.”

“This is her first time in Denerim?” Dorian asked, suddenly catching on. 

Cullen nodded. “Yes, so don’t feel put out, we didn’t see anyone until this evening.”

“I’m going to have to come visit South Reach to get any quality time in, won’t I?” Dorian asked, sipping from his drink.

“Our spare room is always open to you,” Cullen replied. 

Dorian’s mouth turned to a smirk. “‘Our’ you say? Do you have something to share?”

What the void. “We moved in together. Well, in the process anyway. There’s a few things we’re probably going to just store for the time being.”

Dorian shook his head. “You’re going to marry her?” 

If he was lucky enough, he definitely was. “You’ll be the first to know.” 

Dorian huffed a bit. “I better be. And Mara and I will design the invitations. You’re not invited.”

Cullen laughed. “I’ll let you bond over the typography.”

***

The snow was falling quickly and in big white clumps of flakes, as if they’d collided in the air on their way down and found themselves stuck together. Mara was glad to be staying the night and not worrying about travelling in the weather. 

Their flight back to South Reach was at an ungodly hour the next morning, but for now, they were alone in the quiet fall of snow and a comfortably warm loft. Thea must have made sure the heat had been running through the evening because Mara had been very grateful for the warmth that had greeted them when they stepped inside. 

They set their bags down, and Mara pushed the door closed, a few errant snowflakes finding their way in as she did. She’d just turned the lock when Cullen’s arms wound around her. 

“Thank you for coming,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her hair. 

She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m glad we came. It was good to see everyone.”

Cullen’s golden eyes blinked in surprise. “Really?” 

She pushed onto her tiptoes to brush her nose against his. “Yes. They’re your family, and it’s always wonderful to see them.”

“They love you, you know,” Cullen said, words sure. 

She thought of the mountains Thea had inked into her skin, and the way everyone had found time to talk to her, to make sure she felt welcome. “I know.” 

“So my dragging you to Denerim was a success then?” Cullen asked. 

She smiled. “Let’s come back next year.” 

His kiss was his reply, lips soft but hands holding her tightly. She reached for him too, made sure he felt just as wanted as she did. Somehow she found herself loving him even more than before, for the simplicity of sharing these holiday traditions with the people he cared about. She was surprised at the ease of it too, surprised at how welcome she found herself. All of these people and all of this love, all came into her life because of him. 

That was the best Satinalia gift of all. 


	6. Spare Moments and Milkshakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A piece I wrote for Friendship February, special thanks to LeChatRouge for editing her very beautiful Thea.

South Reach High School was was abuzz with activity. The Spring Variety Show was one of their biggest nights, and Mara was only sort of regretting her involvement in the whole thing as she helped get the donation table set up in the commons area outside the auditorium. 

The commons area was a large open atrium, with windows that faced the mountains and a balcony that always had posters draping from it. There was a golden tiger inlay on the floor, and students knew that if one stepped on it, they had to get down and kiss it, as a rule. 

“Do you think we need to tape the whole thing or just the top, Ms. L?” Josee asked. 

“I think the top is probably fine, if the ends are curling we can tape them to the front table legs,” Mara replied, cutting another long strip of packaging tape. 

A group of students came down the other side of the hallway, all dressed in dark colors and carrying camera all the camera equipment the school owned. “Here are your keys Ms. L!” 

Mara accepted her keys from Nate, who had a tripod resting on his shoulder. “Thank you, do you guys know where to get set up?” 

Sid nodded. “Yeah, we have three locations marked with tape.”

“Good, and please all of you triple check the camera settings. I don’t want another repeat of the basketball game where everything was all washed out,” Mara instructed. The instructions were mostly for Bowen, but she hoped that Nate and Sid wouldn’t make the same mistake. 

“Sure thing!” Nate replied before the group disappeared into the auditorium. 

Jamie was rushing down the hallway, carrying a massive stack of blue paper. “Why exactly were were roped into helping with this thing?”

Mara groaned when she realized what he was carrying were the programs and they hadn’t been folded. “Why aren’t these done?”

Jamie ran a hand through his black hair. “Oh that’s not even the half of it, the copies weren’t made.”

“Seriously?” Mara asked. No wonder Jamie had been AWOL for the last twenty minutes. 

“They were in the basket, but not done. I don’t know why. Maybe Sarah didn’t turn them in on time?” Jamie said. 

Mara was already creating piles and beginning to fold the programs in half. “Josee, go get everyone Sarah can spare to come help us get these done. People will be arriving soon.”

Josee nodded and darted away. Mara turned to Jamie, careful to keep her voice down. “Sarah was bugging me for the graphic like two weeks ago. How did these not get done until today?”

Jamie shrugged. “This is the last time we sign up to help with this?” 

Mara rolled her eyes. “Yeah, easy for you to say. I have to cover it with the staff no matter what.”

“Sucker!” Jamie teased. 

Mara was furiously folding programs when Josee arrived with three other students in tow. “Take a pile and fold as fast as you can, folks!”

They were in the middle of folding when Cullen arrived with Thea, Loghain, Cat, and Nathaniel in tow. Mara checked her watch as they walked in, but didn’t move from where she was. “You’re early.”

Cullen smiled. “Perpetually.”

“Your best quality,” she quipped. 

Mara had somehow forgotten about their audience. “Awwwwwwww,” Josee laughed, while the other students joined in. 

Hunter handed her his now completed pile of programs. “Is this your fiancee Ms. L?” 

She nodded. “It is, and our friends: Thea, Loghain, Cat, and Nathaniel.” 

Josee stood from where she was seated on the ground, and walked up to Thea. “You have such pretty hair.”

Mara was pretty sure that shock passed over Thea’s face, but she hid it well. “Thank you, kitten.”

“You’re welcome! Ms. L, I’m going to go check and see if Miss Hall needs anything else,” Josee said. 

Mara nodded. “Thanks for your help!”

“Is that a snake on your ankle?” Matt asked Thea. 

Mara grinned at Thea. “Warned you.”

Matt looked offended. “Warned them? About us?”

Mara nodded. “Yes, and how consistently you poke your nose in people’s business.” 

Hayli laughed. “Investigative journalism at its finest.”

Mara’s eyes narrowed. “I hardly think that going through my phone during a newspaper meeting really counts as investigative journalism.”

“But then we wouldn’t have known about Cullen!” Hunter said, offering Cullen a high five. Cullen returned it, and Mara feigned annoyance. She was actually really grateful for how much of an effort Cullen put in to befriend her students. He brought her lunch every now and again, and had never been put off by the gaggle of students congregated there during lunch. 

“And what a tragedy that would have been,” Mara replied. The sarcasm was largely lost on the students, but it earned her some chuckling from the adults present. 

“Why don’t you guys go get seats, and I’ll join you when I can,” Mara added, remembering that she needed to go get the cash box from the safe. 

She just hoped that in the midst of all of this chaos she ended up with a moment to enjoy the evening too. 

***

The final curtain had fallen, and Mara had made her quick apologies to the group before rushing out to ensure the refreshment table was all set for people to stop by. She also wanted to make sure that the donation table was ready, as this was their last chance to make some money for the school. 

She was talking to Sid, Bowen, and Nate about the photos they had managed to get when Thea came to her side. Mara had caught a glimpse of the group over with Jamie and Olivia, and Cullen was listening intently to Lily’s chattering, but she hadn’t realized Thea had left them.

“Look at this one!” Bowen exclaimed excitedly, showing Mara the camera screen. The shot was perfectly timed, and the lighting was good. 

“Hey! That’s amazing. This is why I tell you to take hundreds of photos, then you end up with shots like this and it’s worth it!” she offered him a high five. 

She gave Sid her keys so they could go lock up the camera equipment for the night, and she finally turned to Thea, who had waited patiently. 

“Sorry about that.” 

Thea didn’t seem bothered. “Do you ever get a spare moment at these things?” 

Mara was about to answer when another student bounded over to them. Amanda was grinning from ear to ear, stage makeup heavier than her usual. “Ms. L! Did you see my scene!”

Mara nodded. “You were so great!” She pulled Amanda in for a weird side hug, as it was the only contact she really dared with students. 

“Oh, I’m going to go talk to Mr. S!” Amanda waved as she slipped through the crowd. 

“Not really?” Mara answered, shoulders shaking from exasperated laughter. She felt like she’d been run more than a little ragged over the course of the evening. 

Thea’s gaze swept out over the mass of people, most of them under eighteen. “You really love your job.”

“Of course I do. It’s my life. Most people love their jobs though,” Mara said. This wasn’t exactly special, and the pay certainly wasn’t special. 

“No, they really don’t,” Thea replied. She spoke with such certainty that Mara knew that Thea was speaking from experience. Then she thought of Thea’s degrees in history, and her work at Seawolf and Steed. 

“We were on the subject earlier, but I never asked. Do you love your job?” 

Thea gracefully moved out of the way of a uncareful student darting past them.  “Yes… and no.” She sighed. “Depends on the day. Not enough to put up with this ,” she gestured towards the slowly dissipating chaos, “F or more than an evening. Maybe not even then.”

“But what about the history you love so much, for that?” Mara asked. 

Thea raised an arched brow. “Are you trying to talk me into teaching?” 

Mara shook her head. “Oh no. I don’t think a roomful of teenagers could handle the force that is you. I just wondered if you were still pursuing anything with history.”

“Here and there, more recently. Loghain has encouraged me to do more with it.”  Thea’s smile softened slightly, and  Mara didn’t miss the way her hand had wrapped around the locket around her neck. 

“I’m glad, and I’m also glad that you put up with all of this just to support this,” Mara explained. Despite Thea’s  discomfort around the students, she’d come anyway. Flown all the way out to South Reach with Loghain, Cat, and  Nathaniel in tow. 

“To support you,” Thea corrected. 

Mara fought the swell of emotion that rose up at that. She’d never once expected when Cullen told her about Thea and her family that they’d be having this sort of conversation, that she’d gain so much. She worried about saying something too emotional, so she changed the subject. 

“You know what I could really go for this evening? A milkshake.”

Thea laughed. “A milkshake?” 

Mara nodded. “Yes. Something with lots of chocolate and peanut butter cups too. And it means we get to leave.”

Thea was shaking her head a bit, but she was smiling. “Milkshakes sound great.”

  
  
  
  



	7. The First Day of Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a very fluffy, very silly wedding for these two. Enjoy!

“So let me get this straight. You’re going to get married on top of a mountain?” Jamie asked, sliding Mara’s tablet back to her. 

Mara and Jamie were seated at some desks in her classroom while they pored over wedding everything, and Mara’s students were hard at work on the last newspaper before spring break. It was deceptively sunny outside, masking the fact it was only about forty degrees. Sometimes Mara hated Ferelden.  

“Well, when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous,” Mara slid her finger along the screen and pulled up another picture before handing the tablet back. 

Jamie sighed. “Okay it’s gorgeous. I’ll give you that.” Mara was grateful that Jamie had agreed to be her maid of honor, but he wasn’t sold on the mountain wedding idea. 

“But?” Mara asked. 

Jamie adjusted his gray sweater. “But I was really hoping you’d pick a destination wedding, and I’d have an excuse to drink mai tais on the beach.”

Mara rolled her eyes. “I am so sorry that where I’m choosing to have my wedding doesn’t match up with your beach plans.”

Jamie laughed. “You know that I’m happy for you, right? Beach wedding betrayal aside, of course.”

“Yeah, I know, you ass,” Mara replied around a smile. Jamie had spearheaded the very sweet engagement party her department had thrown her and Cullen during a department meeting. And she could have asked one of her girlfriends to be maid of honor, but if she was being honest, Jamie was one of her best friends. As far as keeping the wedding a small affair, he just made the most sense. 

Jamie looked offended. “Hey, keep that abuse up, and I might quit.”

“Okay, but I really am serious. This place has the wedding deck,” Mara pulled pointed to the picture. 

“It’s the logistics. This says it’s 11,000 feet up. How do you get everyone up there?” Jamie asked. 

Mara shrugged. “Gondola.” 

“So you ride the ski gondola up to your wedding location?” Jamie asked. 

“Yes, and we’ll have the wedding and some champagne and photos after, and then head back down to the lodge for dinner,” Mara replied. 

Jamie nodded. “Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad. I was thinking you were going to make me and everyone else hike or something.”

Mara laughed. “You know my aunt would have totally noped out on that one, right?” 

“Me too, probably,” Jamie admitted. “So Mia is taking care of the flowers?”

Mara nodded. “I think she was a little frustrated with me, to be honest.”

“You gave the woman zero direction, so yeah, I’d say rightly so.” 

Wedding planning wasn’t Mara’s very favorite thing, but she was stuck at the school until her editors finished the paper so she decided she might as well be useful. She and Cullen and split up responsibilities since their house was also under construction. He had more flexibility to leave work and check on the progress of the house, so Mara had taken on the fine details of the wedding. They were both involved in major decisions, but Cullen didn’t need to sign off on the exact color of cream for the table linens kind of like she didn’t need to be involved in the placements of every outlet and light switch. 

“Ms. L? This photo is placing wrong,” Jade turned around from one of the computers in the back of the classroom. 

Mara stood up and walked over. “Did you crop it in photoshop?” 

Jade nodded. 

“What element are you trying to place it in?” Mara asked, looking at the layout page. “There’s your problem, use this tool and then file, place.” Mara pointed to the correct box. 

Jade nodded. “Thanks.”

Then the photo pasted in perfectly. 

“Remember that Ms. L knows everything,” Jamie called from where he was sitting. 

Jade rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever you say, Mr. S.”

***

It was the tail end of Solace, but in the mountains the weather was just perfect. It was a sunny day, but clouds still hung low over the tallest peaks. Cullen was still trying to believe his life. He’d driven the canyon that morning with Branson, Barris, Matthew, and Mia. Between all of them they had taken the flowers up in the gondola and gotten the wedding archway arranged just before Rosie had shown up with their clothes and with Clara, Liam, and Henry in tow. They’d changed in the tiny nearby lodge, and then Cullen had gone out to greet their friends and family as they arrived in the gondolas. 

The wedding was to be held on a deck that overlooked the ski resort and the mountains beyond. There was still snow on those furthest peaks, stark white against the green of the trees in the summer sunshine. The ski runs were bare, covered in grass and wildflowers. The entire place was quiet, and perfect.

Cullen and Mara had kept the guest list purposefully short, and quite a few of their Denerim friends had arrived in the days before the wedding, staying in South Reach and complaining about how small it was. Or perhaps that was just Dorian. 

“Well this certainly isn’t The Skyhold,” Thea smiled as she stepped out of the red gondola, hand in hand with Loghain. “Much better, to my mind, and warmer than I expected.” She’d worn a sundress in a pale shade of green that set off the auburn in her hair that was tumbling down her back, and it balanced well against the pale grey shirt Loghain wore, sleeves already rolled up past his forearms. Cullen strongly suspected Thea had made that choice; she’d always been good with color.

“No, it certainly isn’t.” Cullen said as he embraced her.

There really weren’t any comparisons to be made to the stuffy, too fancy affair that neither he or Thea had really wanted. It had been a concession to her aunt and uncle, and one given that, they’d died just a few while later, he didn’t think he or Thea regretted. This time though he and Mara had dreamed up exactly what they wanted, and appeased exactly no one when it came to the planning. He was glad for it. 

“You look nice,” Thea said as she adjusted the pink anemone on his lapel. 

“Mara will be so glad you came,” Cullen said, extending a hand to Loghain. 

Loghain shook his hand, and glanced at Thea. “Good.  _ Someone _ might have been up at an ungodly hour worried about that.” 

Thea rolled her eyes in the general direction of her husband, but she was smiling. “This place is gorgeous. Absolutely unreal.” 

The view from the gondola stop wasn’t even the best view on the mountain. “Wait till you see the deck.”

Cullen walked with Thea and Loghain a ways, just down the hill until the deck came into view. Thea smiled when she saw it. “Very fitting.”

Cullen nodded. “We thought so.”

“Cat and Nate were right behind us, so we’ll let you go,” Thea replied, leading Loghain towards the deck and the small group of their guests that were congregating together. No one had really moved toward the short rows of chairs yet, but everyone seemed to be having a good time. 

“I’d avoid Mia if I were you. She’s a bit of a mess,” Cullen called after them. He was sure he heard Thea laugh at that. 

Cullen had just reached the top of the hill when Cat and Nathaniel emerged from their gondola, all smiles and congratulations. They chatted briefly for a moment before they drifted away to join Thea and Loghain where they were speaking with Rosie.

“See this was smart,” Branson commented as he trekked up the hill to the gondola landing. “Greet the guests and stay away from Mia. Solid plan.”

Cullen chuckled. “I’ll go back to liking her after the wedding.” 

“I might need a year or two. You know who deserves a damn award though? Mara,” Branson said. 

“Maker’s breath, I know,” Cullen replied. Mara had taken on the brunt of dealing with Mia, and had maintained patience long after Cullen had given up. 

“Short end of the stick there, marrying you and dealing with neurotic Mia,” Branson said. 

Cullen scowled at his brother, and Branson laughed. “You really make it too easy.”

“Well, now you know what to look forward to,” Cullen said. 

Branson laughed. “Oh, no, you did it twice. Once for each of us. I appreciate your sacrifice.”

His brother had been running the gamut on second wedding jokes, and Cullen was actually surprised by how little they bothered him. 

“Cullen!” Bull’s voice boomed as he maneuvered his massive head out of the gondola. 

“Those things are not made with qunari in mind,” Dorian said, watching Bull’s slow movements with concern. 

“Not particularly, but it’s better than hiking all the way up here,” Bull smiled before pulling Cullen into a bone breaking hug. 

“It’s good to see you,” Cullen managed once he was able to breathe again. 

Dorian straightened his light blue suit jacket. “No nerves I see?”

“Mia has that bit covered for all of the Rutherford siblings,” Branson said by way of greeting. 

Dorian and Bull both laughed. “I’m not surprised, and I think we are the last ones up.” 

“Quick, someone go tell Mara she only has a few minutes to change her mind,” Branson grinned. 

Cullen rolled his eyes. “Thank you for that.”

“She wouldn’t, not when we designed such beautiful invitations,” Dorian replied. 

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “It might not be all about the typography.”

“Oh Cullen, it’s always all about the typography.” Bull winked. 

***

Mara couldn’t quite wipe the smile from her face. Married. She and Cullen were married. She was still trying to feel as if it was all real. She and Cullen had been planning this day for months, and to see it finally come to fruition with all of their friends and family was something else. All of the people they cared most about were surrounding them, looking just as happy as Mara felt. There was a certain lightness in her chest she hadn’t expected, a surety she didn’t need but was grateful for nonetheless. 

Her fingers were laced with Cullen’s, and since the ceremony had ended they hadn’t let go of each other. He looked good in his navy suit, smile so wide and so carefree. As they spoke he kept glancing to down at her, as if making sure she was still there. Then he’d squeeze her hand gently as if to express his own bit of wonder. 

Mara’s other hand was toying with the necklace around her neck. It was a simple gold chain, but the pendant had the phrase ‘ar lath ma’ etched in her mother’s handwriting. It had been a gift from her father that morning, and a way to keep her mother close throughout the day. As Mara glanced behind where they stood, at the sweeping mountain vista she couldn’t help but think her mother would have approved. Her father had said as much before the ceremony, before he and Deshanna had accompanied Mara down the aisle. Now they were both busy playing with Henry, and talking with Branson. Mara was still marveling at how easy her family and Cullen’s had mixed together. 

“Oh kitten, this is just stunning,” Thea said as she approached where Mara and Cullen stood. 

“Thea!” Mara smiled, and pulled her into a hug. 

“You look absolutely beautiful,” Thea said as she pulled away. 

“Oh thank you,” Mara replied. 

Thea was smiling then too. “And you look very comfortable, which is important I think.”

Mara’s dress was a dream, a soft, comfortable dream. Wide sleeves, and long, flowing skirt. The back was open and scalloped, but that was about as fancy as it got. Mara liked the simplicity, and also that she could wear her favorite blue flats beneath. She probably ought to have opted for something with some height, but comfort had won out. 

“Well, it’s not barefoot in the living room, but we’re making do,” Mara laughed.

“Hey, don’t knock it,” Thea retorted. “I think Cat and Nate were just relieved Loghain reminded me to put on pants.” 

Cullen leaned down toward Mara. “You need to tell Thea.”

“Tell me what?” Thea raised a perfectly arched brow. 

Mara narrowed her eyes at her husband. “Married less than an hour and you’re already ratting me out.”

Cullen was clearly enjoying this. “Mara might not have mentioned to her father who you were.”

“I told him Thea was my friend, that’s the truth!” Mara protested. 

Thea’s laughed, more amused than anything else. “Oh, kitten. You realize now that I have to see his reaction? It will be so novel to have someone dislike me simply because I am an ex rather than because I am a Mac Tir. This should make for great sport.”

Mara nudged Cullen with her shoulder. “Look what you’ve done.”

“To be honest, I want to see it too,” Cullen admitted. 

Mara shook her head. “I hate you both.”

“Hate is how Mara expresses love,” Jamie answered as he approached them all with champagne glasses in hand. “For the Mr. and Mrs?”

Mara accepted the glass gratefully. “I hate you, too.”

“Wait till you hear my speech,” Jamie grinned. “Good to see you, Thea.”

“You too, Jamie,” Thea gave him her familiar half smile before turning back to Cullen and Mara. “You two have fun. We’ll talk later, alright?” 

Mara nodded. “Please wait until we’re down the mountain before giving my father a heart attack though?”

Thea lifted one delicate shoulder in a shrug, but she threw a wink back in Mara’s direction as she sauntered off. “No promises, darling, but I’ll see what I can do.”

They spent the next hour or so chatting with everyone, but then the wind slowly started to pick up as the afternoon turned to evening. Mara and Cullen began directing everyone back to the gondolas to head back down the mountain to the lodge where dinner would be served. 

Mara thought that everyone would have started down the mountain already, but their entire group stood waiting for her and Cullen, and when they reached the gondola station Mara understood why. 

There was a gondola waiting for them, with a sign that read “Just Married, 11,000 ft”. 

“Well, that’s definitely us,” Mara laughed. 

Cullen kissed her hair. “Indeed.”

They waved to the group as they got inside, and the doors closed and they slowly descended down the mountain. 

“It’s odd that on your wedding day you see so little of each other,” Cullen commented. 

Mara settled against him. “Your sister is the one who insisted we keep things as traditional as possible.”

“I’m glad we get a few moments to ourselves,” he said as he cupped her cheek. 

“Are you going to make out with me in the gondola now, Rutherford?” she asked. 

His smile stretched wider. “Is that alright, wife?” 

Her answer was to close the distance, heart still stumbling over the soft way he had said wife. They might still have an evening with family and friends ahead of them, but they also had forever, together. 


End file.
